For all the new folks, welcome! I generally make these threads every so often to check in on people, let people vent, or share cool news they have.
So, come on in! What's been going on with you lately? How are you feeling about it?
Remember, you are loved :stalin-heart:
As for myself, my partner's brain med switch is NOT going well at all. I've been trying my best to take care of them, but I know we just gotta wait this out. Other than that, my drummer seems to have calmed down after this weekend, and we're back to writing stuff. Getting the fuck out of this city for the rest of our summer shows. Beyond that, starting gabapentin today for my heart, and after having tried some from my partner, it seems to work decently! Also, I can get back to running today now that a foot blister has healed.
I have been feeling like total shit in terms of mental health. And physical health.
cw: self-harm/suicide
I was hoping to come off my SNRIs but there's just no way. I've been suicidal lately and pretty depressed. I was taking care of my ex for so long I don't even know what my life is like without care giving for them, I don't know any self-care stuff. They kept our pets. Between the cats and my ex, those were like the reasons I didn't follow through on suicidal thoughts, I was always worried about who would take care of them if I did it. And now I don't have that as a reason to keep living - I always felt really insecure about that being why I'm still alive, I always felt really dumb about it but it was so whatever. I got my SNRI dosage increased, probably for the best. I've been stress eating and self-harming with other stuff I won't get into and that's just not good. I always feel like an idiot afterwards but I just can't seem to stop myself anymore.
My cars alternator is going, can't run A/C AND charge the battery anymore :( I have the money to fix it but I just don't have the wherewithal to call a mechanic and fix it. I don't think I could reach it where it is (thanks American compact designers) on my own. I bet it's just got grime or oil on the brushes or some small component needs changing but I just can't take it apart on my own and I don't trust a mechanic to actually just do the labor needed instead of fucking me over and insisting on getting a new alternator and charging me too much on labor.
My therapist used to tell me, before our insured sessions ended, that I was a good person or whatever and that always used to make me cry. I have a really hard time receiving compliments or praise, I hate being celebrated.
I did acupuncture the other day for pain and digestive stuff. I've done it for pain and it works, medical science backs that up too. Adherents swear it works for autoimmune and all kinds of issues - I don't think there's any medical evidence for that but hey, feels like I'm doing something other than taking different pills over and over.
A new (or more likely remanufactured) alternator is probably a cheaper and better idea than fixing the existing one and risking it just failing again for a different reason in 6 months, unless the existing one were easy to get at and work on. It's not like it gets thrown away if you get a new one, that's what the core charge is for.
I have no words for shitty mechanics tho. Shit is always so expensive and often not done that much better than you would have done it at home, if at all.
I wish I had more to say, comrade. You are loved here, I recognize you around, and always enjoy your posts. My partner is going through similar feelings due to med switches, I actually posted about it last night in c/mentalhealth if you care to read. Sending you love and good vibes :meow-hug: