thanks for taking the time to read my story and respond, appreciate the solidarity

I have some dreams but they feel largely incompatible with the world around me, like working in archviz for a free/public housing project (America lol). I've considered going into archviz anyway since I have CG skills, it just bums me out that most buildings are being built for the rich. and it would still be a computer job lmao, but at least it genuinely interests me

good on you for joining the Palestine protests, I've never protested but getting involved in activism is a great idea and might put me in touch with more cool and like-minded people as well

the isolation is absolutely demotivating and getting out of that mode is my main concern now