this is not a joke. my stomach hurts. i've been going to the bathroom every 15 minutes to squeeze out more diarrhea. this sucks.
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It's important to drink lots of water (and supplement electrolytes) when shidding and farding out of your doodoo ass. Also, washing your ass instead of wiping will prevent a chaffed anus.
have you tried moaning and crying? that's what i usually do in that situation