This isnt a crisis post btw, I have care scheduled very soon
I highly suspect i have BPD and i just want to know if it ever gets better or easier to live with? 4 days ago i felt stable and now I'm back to completely losing my mind and cant reel it back in
Not even sure whats real or not about my emotions at this point other than being trans
My partner has BPD and it has been challenging for both of us. They are going through therapy specifically for people with BPD and have had medication prescribed through contact with a psychiatrist from hospitalizations due to suicide attempts (which I present for)
At some point I looked for communities for support. There are some targeted towards people who are close to people with BPD and I would suggest you remain critical if you choose to engage with them. I have hurt and have been hurt by my partner and it has caused some negative thoughts I am not very proud of. The communities I am referring to tend to be very unempathetic and othering of people with BPD. It made me very uncomfortable and upset seeing some of these hurt individuals further marginalizing people with BPD and I think there's a risk you may share the same experience.
It's very unfortunate you have to contend with this without (I am assuming) an environment which can be supportive, if I could give any advice it would be: don't ever blame yourself for your condition. My partner would blame themself and it wreaked havoc on their mental health. They have improved quite a bit, but it's still there and something we are both working through. Of course it goes without saying you have to deal with the consequences, but they are not your fault.
My partner improved significantly over the years, I want to say this isn't reflective of what your experience might be, think of it more like a case study. You may improve immediately (as my partner did with medication) and then have a slow gradual progression with therapy. It will definitely take time and I wish you the best. If you'd ever like to ask any questions or anything (or anyone else for that manner) don't hesitate to send me a message.
EDIT: I see you mentioned dating, my partner has had their social fulfillment most in groups aligned with her core interests (through volunteering) rather than work or friends from childhood or college.
Thank you for the kind words. Thankfully my friends are very supportive. I would very much like to know what therapy specifically for bpd looks like, if you had any insight
Of course, I wish I could give you more than words. I'm being a bit cautious so I was vague intentionally. It's DBT administered by a PhD at a local university who is applying a protocol their research group developed under a notable researcher in the area.
It's specific due to the nature of the issues my partner faces. They were doing individual DBT prior and had completed group DBT as well (which what was recommended to them and I believe is what is recommended generally) but hit a bottleneck and was referred to their current therapist by their prior therapist. The results are quite good from what they say and they are much more hopeful now than there were in the therapy they did before (they did Schema Therapy before doing DBT). I think it's helped them as well since there are less suicide attempts and self-harm. They are also more hopeful which is absolutely heart-warming to see.
EDIT: To comment again on dating, we date because I am also neurodivergent and I guess very understanding. When I would go to my friends for support they would more or less tell me to leave and think about my own needs to the detriment of my partner. That was (and is) nonsense to me so I was more careful in who I shared my relationship issues and feelings with. I got very lucky and I am not really sure what advice I could give :/
Thank you for the in depth reply. Based on a few of the replies it sounds like i should be looking for DBT. Ive done regular talk therapy before. I dont really know the difference
It's one of the cognitive behavioural therapies most suited towards BPD. The researcher who developed it, Marsha Linehan, has BPD. From my cursory reading (review and meta-review papers) a few years ago and information from my partner's therapist both say that it's among the, if not the most, effective therapy for people with BPD.
EDIT: Some talk therapies follow a structured program, some don't. DBT, CBT, etc. are all therapies that follow a protocol. This is probably best contrasted with psychoanalysis which is not structured in the same manner and therefore not as neatly replicable. For example, I am doing a CBT for people with cPTSD and the first part was geared towards increasing my baseline. Basically working together with my therapist to commit to and engage in pleasurable activities, and activities for building mastery. After that we started the second part where we accumulated and analyzed my behaviours and thinking patterns. I am in the third part now where we are challenging those negative and unhelpful thoughts (this is the cognitive part) and sort of updating them with more accurate thoughts (ones that aren't maladaptive).
Ah, a more structured program does seem like itd be very helpful as i have adhd as well. I will look into that