UPDATE: The transphobe Ada has been defending says they misgender all trans women/NBs on Blahaj who are strangers - Blåhaj Lemmy
lemmy.blahaj.zone
Further information on the situation with the transphobia: Abigail has repeatedly misgendered me and defended her choice by saying she chooses to refer to all people of unknown gender as male. > Hey, Abigail here. I just want people to know the reason this person got banned is likely because of a deleted comment not included in that thread. OP called me ~~autistic ~~ mentally unwell for not liking politics. THAT kind of behavior is not acceptable on lemmy.blahaj.zone, so I reported the comment and let Ada handle it. Ada tried in good faith to reason with OP but it was clear they just wanted to fight. So yeah, they got banned. Ada’s a fantastic lady who’s been great at keeping the trolls at bay. > Edit: and the bit about me misgendering them is also wrong. Gender didn’t come into play until after I had left the conversation. English default on the internet is male for strangers. Source: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669] WRT the statement that I accused them of autism for not liking politics, further info is available here: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669] https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2320815 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2320815] https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2321026 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2321026]
  • Awoo [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Wouldn't choosing to maintain the fake sense of status that running an online community creates instead of deleting it because of the harm it does or will do definitionally narcissistic? Or is there a requirement here for such actions to be a lifelong pattern?

    • HodgePodge [love/loves]
      ·
      1 year ago

      i would just change it to self-centered. this is an online topic that’s not worth the argument and also narcissism unfortunately does have lightly ableist connotations now since the word has now been medicalized

      • dinklesplein [any, he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        i think calling people narcissists is kind of a reddit-logoism in general and should be abandoned entirely for that reason when as you said 'self-centred' accomplishes the same aims.

    • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
      ·
      1 year ago

      Narcissists are only 1% of the population, yet we see this behaviour from anyone who owns a large platform. Unless you want to present the thesis that people with NPD are privileged because we own all the social media sites, we must conclude that this pattern of behaviour is common to neurotypicals as well.

      • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]
        ·
        1 year ago

        narcissism doesn't have to be disruptive enough of a persons' life to be a disorder diagnosis. Should we start calling anxious feelings something else because some people have severe anxiety that we label a disorder? petty narcissism isn't the same as NPD and this is the first time i've seen someone try to equate the two.

        • Awoo [she/her]
          ·
          1 year ago

          I'm not really against moving off the word I just feel a bit odd about it. Like you point out.

          I think with anxiety there's a small difference in that it's never used perjoratively. Whereas narcissism is. But I agree with you that if anxiety can be used descriptively for a type of behaviour without meeting the standards for it being a disorder narcisisstic behaviour can be the same thing without meeting the standard.

          In the same way anxiety could also be replace with "uncomfortable" or "scared" but this would not be as strong in tone, not really describing the seriousness of the emotion. In this same way narcissism shares that.

          Again though, not really a hill I'd die on or anything. It is certainly overused for even incredibly minor things at times.

        • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
          ·
          1 year ago

          Well, slowness doesn't have to be severe enough to be considered intellectual disability, but the R word is still a slur. And tan skin doesn't have to be dark enough to cause racial prejudice, but the N word is still a slur. It seems that from our pre-existing examples, the answer is that if people are going to use "narcissist" as a pejorative it's a slur

          • SerLava [he/him]
            ·
            1 year ago

            Again how is anxious not a slur or at least appropriative in your definition, seeing that it follows a very similar pattern of standard use followed by use in medical settings

            • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
              ·
              1 year ago

              Because it doesn't have a pattern of pejorative use. A slur is created when a word is consistently used to express hatred. Hatred of anxiety sufferrers is much less than that of narcissists. It's largely confined to jokes about people being "triggered". Whereas people wish death on narcissists with regularity.

      • GarbageShoot [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        By analogy, there is a reason that megalomaniac are more likely to be corporate ghouls or sociopaths are more likely to be cops, there is an element of self-selection.

    • LesbianLiberty [she/her]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Nah I think it's moreso the use of the word, but I've only ever known of it by that term; I'm not sure what other label would exist for it.

          • GarbageShoot [he/him]
            ·
            1 year ago

            Egocentrism is something else. You're probably thinking of egotistical.

            Egocentrists don't necessarily hold themselves in high regard, they just have a bias towards interpreting things as being about them. The most self-loathing person I know is highly egocentric.