Uh oh. Right now I’m just going to wait until I have a discussion with my group and in the meantime I have my eyes set on Warmachine and Grimdark Future for systems, I’m not sure if doing warhammer is really worth it if it’s that unfun to pla

I'm probably being a little harsh tbh as it can be a fun game and I do enjoy the setting, you do have to ground rules for each other to make it work though. A good solution to army balance is to get everyone to make a tournament style army list that they have to use no matter their opponent, this stops as much unevenness where an army can completely counter another (such as Tau spamming burst cannons and pulse rifles against an Ork horde), some armies will be stronger than others but at least noone should be in a place of having no chance then.

You could always do a few simulations first to see if you like it, print of the rules and use other minis, even green army men or cardboard pieces, if you don't mind the less physical aspect the fan content for 40k on Tabletop Simulator is supposed to be good.