This reads like the geopolitical version of the Graft versus Host video from Arrested Development

But what's Israel to do? Stop their genocide?

The leaders of the factions opposing us say we'd be completely safe if we were to do that-

They just need to stop their Genocide?!

"Look, the president is a barely animated husk. We need a proper Lich Queen to maintain the seals binding him to this plane!"

Getting an overwhelming urge to sink their yachts

The fact that the first picture is already an hour in:

Hey, I don't know...have you seen Biden lately? If there is anyone to lead the process of passing beyond the bounds of consensus material reality it's him

I am not a fan of this gritty live-action Statler and Waldorf reboot

Apparently Trump didn't understand the point of the movie of the JFK assassination from an angle he hadn't seen before when they showed it to him last time...

The Pentagon’s audit concluded that the military’s primary contractor handling the campaign, General Dynamics IT, had employed sloppy tradecraft, taking inadequate steps to hide the origin of the fake accounts, said a person with direct knowledge of the review.

"We're not mad you did it, we're mad you got caught!"

Hoo boy, the competition for "Most Loathed Politician" is really heating up!

Some background music to go with it: Hulk walking away

A mass-casualty event where the remaining group of people is led by someone extremely ancient who sees and hears things no one else does...you may be onto something

"Give me liberty or give me death!"

"...oh"

There's a solid "for the greater good" joke in there somewhere, but everything I come up with keeps sounding too much like

"Well, that's not fair! It wouldn't be American "cheese" without the high lead levels!"

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

:fetterman: So, since I didn't die again, does that mean I have to get even more fasc? 'Cause, y'know, damn..."

"Oh yeah, why don't we let her do more?"

30 seconds of this later

"And when I had my stroke, I realized 'Holy shit, I'm going to die one day'"

"So you decided 'I can't take it with me, so I should do my best to leave behind a positive legacy'?

"What? No! I decided to get that bag here and now and fuck the consequences!"