ratboy [they/them]

  • 36 Posts
  • 854 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 17th, 2023

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  • Ugh, I feel you and I'm sorry you have to deal with that, it's so scary. I'm in my 30s but when I was a YOUNG kid, I was in a couple police raids (crazy ass family selling drugs) and the trauma from that never really went away, I got triggered and dissociated like crazy the one time I was close to the police line during a very small protest march. All that from experiences I had 3 decades ago, so it makes total sense that you'd still be shaken up from your experience


  • Last day of my job is Friday and I have one straggler client who keeps calling me and I keep putting him off. Why? Probably because I out him off for a week already (thanks stupid brain with stupid problems). So now I will have to put on my big boy pants later today or tomorrow and figure out an excuse for why I haven't answered his calls for 3 weeks. susie-heh

    Getting out of this work environment has GOT to be the best move before I become more and more unreliable for my clients. Just makes me worry that I will continue to drop the ball when I get back to work, if I do get back to work, doing social services



  • I think moving forward it could be really helpful for there to be one-on-one conversations with people who fuck up, would be very useful for us ND folks for sure. And then maybe a self crit post after private discussion if warranted? Idk that might be way too much emotional labor for mods/admins but could be really good for the culture and good for the people who are saying problematic shit without realizing it

    Sending this to you bc the end of your post felt like it's calling for something like that



  • Gotcha, okay if that was posted somewhere in the comments I totally missed it obviously and I'll edit my comment to reflect that to avoid the rumor mill from circulating.

    Also, I do wanna say that having to handle all of this must be tremendously stressful and I appreciate you really trying to hold it all together. I really don't think a lot of the grievances aired were aimed at you personally and I hope you were able to separate that for your own mental health. I do agree with a lot of points made by users as this thing devolved but I also believe that some people were doing way too much in the beginning and took it way overboard. I wish that the conversation could've been more productive. I truly believe that yall are taking this feedback into consideration, and to me Lyudmila's post really speaks to that more than anything. Seems to me that having a broader conversation, or town hall as you will, about conduct of both users and mods can really strengthen this place and hopefully the site can become more welcoming to the people who feel turned off by it because that's IMPORTANT! Undoing all if the -isms is an every day practice, it's short sighted to think it has been or ever will be "fixed" but maybe moving into the future there can be regular, ongoing feedback sessions about the health of the site with the broader community??

    Anyway sorry for the ramble from someone who lurks, just wanna say thank you for maintaining a place that has felt so comfy and has been a refuge from the libs during dark times

    cuddle


  • So in watching a lot of this go down, yes a lot of people were pissed about the handling of canceling the tanks, but what REALLY pushed it all overboard was someone, presumably a mod who was confirmed NOT to be a mod but was thought to be, making a bunch of alts (if you search the mod log it's the "debatebro" accts harassing the upset users. Misgendering them, infantilizing them, telling them to kys, etc etc. Many users felt that that issue wasn't addressed at all. Hence people feeling like the admin team was letting that shit slide, which really pissed everyone off. That's where shit REALLY started to pop off. That, combined with there seeming to be multiple different reasons coming from admin about why the tanks were closed, then a controversial mod figure coming back after years and just banning everyone and admin turning this whole thing into a bit and posting instead of either ignoring things or answering questions, which just made people feel even MORE disrespected.



  • I read an article yesterday, may have been from CBS News or something??? It took FOURTEEN PARAGRAPHS before ANYTHING at all was mentioned about the "death to arab" chants and burning of Palestinian flags. Before and after that paragraph it was all talking about jews being chased down in the streets, it's horrifying that people would do this, in ashamed of our country, it was a pogrom....then just casually dropping the real reason it happened. I couldn't believe they even included that info at all



  • ratboy [they/them]toMainTC69 UPDATE: HOT OFF THE PRESSES
    ·
    16 days ago

    Yeah, seeing the Alaskaball/Sangria bit unfold with people actually very upset at...Alaskaball (Sangria)...on Alaskaball's behalf....because of misgendering which is one of main issues users are upset about feels emotionally manipulative and real icky to me. I'm sure it wasn't intended to turn out like it did but god damn read the room


  • ratboy [they/them]toMainTC69 UPDATE: HOT OFF THE PRESSES
    ·
    16 days ago

    it makes me wonder what is the point in putting myself out there at all, you know? 😭

    Fuckin same. After years of failed relationships and many blowing up in my face back to back, I mostly avoid making new friends irl for fear of rejection now. Tbf a lot of my behavior was to blsme but also I didn't know I was autistic at the time and SO MUCH was miscommunication/perseveration/not understanding what's appropriate and people not being straightforward with me.

    I literally just got a 6 month ban from a ND discord chat I was part of for bringing up what I thought was an unfair ban in a super respectful way and that was hard, and so I came back here hoping for some community after all the election bullshit and now this. :/ I've also been dealing with a very similar problem at the job I've loved for years. Shady ass management stepping all over the workers, giving a million different fake excuses for a bunch of changes that are just destroying the org and making the frontline workers feel so demoralized and powerless. Not exactly the same but god damn it just feels like this is happening all over the place all at once.

    I hope that things DO cool down after a few days and that this stuff is able to be addressed and not forgotten, and everyone lives happily ever after. But we will see.

    I'm sorry that this seems to be taking an emotional toll on you cuddle