not sure if this is the right place to post.
she's 13. me and my sister both mostly think it's based, but her dad is gonna flip shit. also she needs to pay a fine and will have some sort of record i assume?
I want to support her, but i also want to maybe start bringing up opsec in some way regarding antics like that. She got caught by the doorbell bullshit, which aint good. it was also during the day, not wearing a mask, etc. just kinda careless...
and i wanna be like 'the people who actively support the police are gonna be the first to weaponize them against you'.
we aren't super close, and technically it's supposed to be a 'secret', but is this worth bringing up somehow? should I let her just deal with it for now? she seems to have a "i don't care, i did what i did" attitude, which seems on brand for a young teen. I don't want to nag, but I also want to make sure she doesn't put herself at unnecessary risk.
She's super vulnerable and impressionable at that age, despite whatever front she puts up. Whatever support you give her will live on in her mind for yours to come. A message to your sibling, taking her side and offering support, would be very helpful.
thanks. I try to be as supportive as i can, but i also know your uncle isn't really 'cool' when you're that age. I wish we had a better relationship, so this was more natural, but still.
I wouldn't stress being cool for her. She doesn't need a friend now, she needs an adult, with all the power and wisdom that you have. I get that 13 y/o's seem stand-off-ish and want to be left alone, but don't take that to mean she doesn't need grown-up assistance. When she's old enough to voice things, she can then give gratitude.
Sorry to pedantic, but I'm literally a high school teacher.
Do what you think is best, but I think an email to your sibling would be helpful.
you're right! I don't need to be 'cool' but i also would like to actually have a conversation and talk, and not just be shrugged off.
me and my sister talked, and she seems in the right place about it for the most part, and assume it will be a thing that gets worked out in time.
Even if she doesn't seem to care what you say or be listening, she will think about what you say. If you give her good advice, she will eventually take it, if not immediately.
Your job as an uncle is to support her cool endeavors and help her do them smart and safely.
I got in trouble for defacing a support our troops thing around that age. They made me write an apology letter so the first letter of each line spelled out "fuck you"
that's good to know. I also agree now that she got caught once, she will hopefully quickly learn, if that's something she is going to continue with in the future.
Just bring it up casually next time you see her, "I heard you fucked up a chud sign, that's pretty cool."
Basically this. Just emphasize more stealth in her next endeavor
Yeah you gotta help her figure out opsec, make sure she knows you absolutely support her doing it and just don't want her to get busted because you care about her and because its hard to do more cool shit like that from prison.
A quick "here's a non descriptive mask, here's a non descriptive baseball cap that's only for doing crimes in, here's some crimes-only sunglasses, make sure you only wear plain clothes with them, don't post evidence to tiktok or anywhere else" could go a long way. Not sure if there's a good intro to opsec guide in the internet somewhere but sending something like that to her so she can browse it on her own time and not feel lectured is prob a good idea too.
To clarify: if you're materially able, I'd give her a hat, mask, and sunglasses and be explicit about how they're for doing stuff she doesn't want to get caught doing only, and then send her a link to a guide later.
I think being hands-off and letting teens get there on their own while still showing support and that you care can be the most effective way of getting through to them
thanks! I told her that, and that when i visit next month, we can talk and get some stuff if she wants.
"Niece, I'm very disappointed in you. When you fuck up CHUD shit, you have to take measures against snitch motherfuckers ratting you out."
Short term, support and advice on how to avoid getting caught are good ideas.
Long term, bring up what adventurism is and its issues.
too kind! I will wait and see. I had a similar thought about helping out. the dad is a chud, but he's also suuuuppperrr concerned with appearances, so knowing him, he will do all in his power to try to make things go away LOL.
well things have progressed, so I may end up asking LOL. cop upped the charges because my niece didn't want to talk to him and he felt they weren't taking it seriously enough... just vindictive bullshit.
its absolutely to make a statement. she also recently came out as not-straight, and in general from what ive seen on her insta before she wiped it, she has posted some political stuff (albeit a little libby but still way more rad than i was at that age)
