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I came out to my folks very, very, very, very, very recently after years on hormones and not telling them. Unfortunately, it has been a nightmare for me and I'm horribly depressed about it, but I'd do it a thousand times again and it'd still be worth it.
Personally, coming out has honestly felt like a gorilla glue bandaid. I knew what I was getting into, but the wound underneath was healed and it needed to come off. The moments prior to coming out felt like that moment you're about to rip a bandaid off but then I just let go of my letter and did it - painfully peeled the bandaid off in one clean swoop.
But that after sting of ripping off the bandaid has been so liberating. I've genuinely learned so much about myself from this, especially in terms of my strength and will to stand up for myself. I feel free to be myself without pretending to be someone I'm not anymore for someone else's sake. And I guess I was willing to exchange the hassle that comes with pretending to be someone I'm not for the hassles that come with coming out and being myself.
Sorry for turning this into a diary comment but I hope this has been insightful. All-in-all, go at your own pace and when you're ready. It's a process. Thanks for reading my TedTalk.
I was at the point where I felt there was no point in life if I can't be who I truly am.
uhhhh idk I juts got srunk and did what iwanted and eventually I was transed... idk maybe it will work out
The sooner you do it the less you'll worry about all that time you didn't before. But also coming into yourself is both process and experience and learning to experience is good (and was a big part of my transition probably)
At a certain point I realized I was only impeding my own growth and happiness as a person by delaying it. It was still fucking terrifying (and still is in a lot of ways) but it was hands-down the best decision I ever made. Hope you can find the courage soon, comrade! :trans-heart:
I'm super early transitioning pre hrt and it wasn't easy and something I dreaded. I'm still not out to everyone and I still go out in boy mode often. When I first figured out I was trans a lot of things suddenly made sense and I figured I could just keep doing what I was already doing and just... not be open. And then every once in a while I'd buy makeup or go out in "drag" to drag shows - of course, that was ironically one of the only times I wasn't. I figured that'd be enough. And then one of my profs used my preferred pronouns accidently, I hadnt met him before and my deadname is kinda gender neutral and my heart started to sing when I heard it.
And then after that, it was pretty much... well I want more of that euphoria. I met other trans girls, some of them far in their transition some early on and that helped me go out en femme more and more. I cam out to my family and roommate and just started wearing girl clothes at home all the time. I started to use my name and my pronouns when I introduced myself. I started to dress more and more often.
Every step in between felt so big and so huge and I was always scared to make the next one. Looking back, I kind of laugh at myself for feeling so anxious and scared when I bought tights for the first time. I couldn't just buy them, I had to buy groceries at the same time lol and I still thought everyone could tell. I was lucky and as far as I know all my family and friends were supportive, but it was still that big leap that every time. It took me 3 weeks to work up the courage to come out to my partner who I already 100% knew would be cool about it.
HRT still seems scary to me but I know I want to do it. And actually going 100% social transitioned instead of having the security blanket of being able to go out in boy mode seems scary, but the way everything has been going... I'll probably do it.
I have AVPD and it feels like fully transitioning involves putting yourself out there in a way I am incapable of.
I have AVPD as well and have transitioned in that I'm out to everyone and had my name legally changed. I certainly understand the anxiety - transitioning was a very slow process that took about a decade for me. This was heavily because of my anxiety about what others would think. I took things one small step at a time - like starting to grow my hair out or starting electrolysis. A few people might know but not many so it's a form of exposure but so minor you won't even be concerned after some time. My initial goal was to be androgynous, full transition seemed like way too much anxiety at the time. So I think you are capable, maybe just make small changes over time.
I think it sneaks up on a lot of us. Like we start caring less about dressing as our AGAB, and then stop caring about having our voice match our AGAB, until at some point you realize you've accidentally been transitioning in every way besides taking hormones. It was also the thing of, I simply realized the longer I waited the more regrets I would have.
