Humans haven't invented a new pantheistic religion for like, what, 3000 years? Well, I think that's a load of bullshit. We need to create a new one with some rad new gods.
The god I'm creating is called Blatphleuvious and they're a trickster god that is responsible for all the mischief animals do that annoys humans, like your dog farting in the car or a pigeon pooping on your head. Blatphleuvious makes that shit happen because he thinks it's hilarious and also to remind us that others aren't ours to control.
He has the shaggy head of a wild boar, and the body of a man wearing the clothes of an old babushka.
Please give me more ideas for gods. I demand it.
A god who’s followers are the people that don’t return shopping carts to the cart corral. Every time this is done the god grows slightly stronger and eventually they’ll emerge to usher in an age of nightmares. I call them Rollando, Lord of the Squeaky Wheel.