CW: breaking of volcel pledge, also cringe topic, but if you need a break from war stuff, here you go
Edit: I realize now that the boyfriends think it is bjs are demeaning. I originally thought that she was saying the boyfriends thought it was demeaning not to get bjs. Lmao. That makes this even more intriguing
Sex dynamics
A lot of the problems here end up being a mismatch of needs. Human sexuality is a complex mishmash of attitudes and reactions towards sex acts ranging from repulsion to indifference to attraction. And all of those can vary over time, vary depending on the participants, and vary depending on whether the person is giving or receiving an act.
If my partner was wanting more oral, but was otherwise sexually fulfilled, and failed to communicate this desire in any way for long enough that it was causing resentment… well it just seems likely that there are bigger problems to deal with first.
Horny stuff
Personally giving oral is hot af to me but I guess I’m just ✨b u i l t d i f f e r e n t ✨
Edit: oh, and monogamous marriage under modern capitalism is a tool for keeping families atomized in the face of non-collective child rearing. I don’t think we talk enough about how much a lot of marriages are still financial arrangements first and foremost. We cohabitate. We pay taxes. We pool money for the kids. But only with each other. And only for our kids. Our property. It makes things less complicated materially to repress our needs in that way.