So, you've come to a point in your life where you're starting to question some things about yourself. Or maybe you've been there for a while. You've done some self-examination, and you feel like some of the pieces that make up who you are just don't fit in the stereotypical gender mold. Maybe you're a natal male, but you have an affinity for things like dresses and make-up and longer hair. Or maybe you're a natal female, and you like shorter hair and deeper voices and boxier clothes. Maybe there are certain bits about yourself you don't care for. Maybe you don't like your body hair or your genitals. You've heard about trans people before. You've seen transition timelines and before and after videos, and maybe you've read the stories of trans people willing to share them. But you're just not sure you're trans. Maybe not everything in these stories resonates with you. Maybe you're a natal female who wants to grow hair on your face, but you also like your ears pierced. Or maybe you're a natal male who wants to wear eyeliner and heels, but you don't know how you feel about having breasts. Maybe you don't feel like you have DYSPHORIA. Maybe the prospect of transitioning and coming out - and all the awkwardness and potential harassment and persecution that can come with that - is daunting and puts you off. Maybe you think, 'What if I'm not really trans? What if I'm non-binary? What if I'm just a trender? What if I'm just cis?' Well, today, I'm here to tell you of this one, sure-fire, 100% full-proof method of answering this question, beyond any shadow of a doubt.

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

Okay...

Here goes.

IT.

DOES.

NOT.

MATTER.

Let me repeat that: it does not matter. The answer to those questions is irrelevant. And I'll tell you why: these labels - 'trans', 'non-binary', 'cis', 'gay', 'straight', 'woman', 'man', what have you - they are for you. They are for us. They are to empower people to connect and identify with other people who share similar experiences. Note that I said similar. Not identical. Because no two people will have identical experiences. For trans people, everyone experiences coming out to themselves differently. Some realize they're trans when they're five. Some realize when they're 50. Some trans people have crippling dysphoria that makes it hard for them to even look in a mirror. Some trans people have barely any problem with the way they look, but just kind of wished they looked different. Some people don't feel comfortable with the label of 'trans' because they don't feel like they fit neatly into the categories of either 'woman' or 'man', and so they prefer non-binary. And some consider themselves trans and non-binary.

And that's just the thing: these labels? They're made up. That's not to say that trans people don't exist - they definitely do. But 'trans' is just like any other word in the English language, or in any language at all. It's just a collection of letters that make a sound that represents the abstract idea of a conception of some experience, which we are trying to convey to others. If I say 'flower', some of you will envision a daisy. Some of you will envision a rose. Some a carnation. Some a petunia. And those are all valid. Even if I get specific and I say 'rose', there are pink roses, white roses, red roses, roses in bloom, closed roses. Every one will think of something different, but it all falls under the same umbrella term. If you search Reddit on r/flowers, and you see a bunch of pictures of petunias and magnolias and tulips, but no roses, that does not make your idea of 'flower' invalid because you've imagined a rose.

The important thing to remember is this: you are who you are. You don't need to ask for permission. You don't have to fill out some checklist. You don't have to qualify to be yourself. Who you are is valid, regardless of what label you want to put on it. Not sure you're trans, but you want to try wearing heels? Wear the damned heels. Want to wear 'men's clothes'? Throw 'em on. Worried that you're not really trans because you aren't a perfect paragon of femininity or masculinity? No one is. No one is a perfect stereotype. Everyone has nuance and deviation. Don't escape the confines of cis heteronormativity only to fall prey to the exact same bullshit logic with trying to prove you're a TRUE TRANS.

You don't have to change your name to be trans. You don't have to go on hormones to be trans. You don't have to have surgery to be trans. You don't have to pass to be trans. And you can do every single one of those things and still not consider yourself trans. It's all perfectly valid. Don't worry about measuring up to some arbitrary standard. Don't worry about if you're really a man. Don't worry about if you're really a woman. Don't worry about if you're neither, or something in between.

Just be yourself. These labels don't define you. You define them.