For a long time now, I've struggled with my body and self-image. To put it blunt, I'm not satisfied. One of the ways I've sought to improve this was by improving my body through exercise.
However, I've also struggled for a long time with giving myself the motivation or enacting the discipline to commit myself to any kind of fitness plan long-term.
Looking back at times in the past when I DID regularly exercise, it was mainly societal/external motivation that kept me going day-by-day. The specific examples were being in a team sport and feeling ashamed after being made fun of by a girl I liked (very effective!). I'm sure there is more to it, but external pressure seems to be the common denominator. Another reason I assume external motivation, is that whenever I try (and fail) to get back into exercising regularly, it comes from some sort of external motivation. To be clear, this does include internal motivation telling me to do so, and I have genuinely wanted to do so forever, but that which is most effective is external.
The conundrum I'm facing now is that I'm in a place far from any reliable friends or connections to motivate me, but even if I was close to friends I would prefer not to rely on external motivation.
So in the absence of external motivation, how can I find in myself the internal motivation to exercise?
I know this is a difficult question for internet strangers to answer, but I figure bouncing ideas off of other people never hurts :)
Here the thing. Unless you are getting paid to do it (and even if you are) pretty much everyone doesn't like excersize and needs something of a coach. Basically everyone I know who is really into working out is into it because of some social motivator, be it money, sex, or a sense of community.
I know there are some freaks who generally do like excersize, but they tend to be cardio people who are addicted to the dopamine rushes and runners highs, which is cool if you can get into that, but definitely isn't my deal.
Stopping isn't the issue, it's not starting again. You can always take a break as long as you get back to it eventually. Think about hiring a coach or taking classes in dance, boxing or even like yoga. Join a rec league. Lord knows I mostly workout to maintain weight and flexibility, as I have likely peaked for strength because I didn't work out when I was younger. That being said, I personally should be working on cardio, but I hate running so it'll probably be the stairmaster for me.
Also, don't worry about your body, hollywood is steroids and dehydration, and everybody else is also probably on gear, unless they are an Olympic athlete (and even then) If you want to try to get into gear, it's not that hard, but there are lots of long term side effects that make it pretty silly, and getting lean again is a pain in the ass from what I've heard.
Idk bud, you can just become a nerd about it too. Plenty of guys do that.
I skip rope for cardio it’s not too hard to learn and super efficient, you can do 30 seconds on 30 seconds off for 25 minutes and be wiped
Of all the external motivators, a sense of community sounds like the most ideal. Unfortunately I'm kind of in a very socially isolated point in my life for the next 3 months. When you say hiring a coach do you mean something like a trainer at a gym? I do running and basketball for cardio/mental health but not consistent enough for it to have much of an effect. I should clarify that looks aren't my main goal but moreso mental health, physical health and self-esteem. The I wrote down the looks part because times when I'd felt really insecure about my looks were when I had been able to stick to a routine somewhat.
A trainer at the gym. Costs some money but I promise you it's worth it for consistency, and to have someone watch and critique your form . You really only need like once a week.
For sure! The nearest gym that I would realistically go to has coupons in local newspapers every once in a while for 2 free trainer sessions so I would be able to try it out before committing :)
My man. U can’t workout to look hot. You’ll never get anywhere if you do it to look good. You gotta do it to feel good. U can’t do it for motivation. Only discipline. It’s like basically force feeding urself with excersize until it’s not so hard to force urself. Lift but also do cardio. Use a beginner ppl split do the 3 big compound movements and eventually you’ll look good. For cardio I do boxing but like anyhting works. My discipline for lifting comes from wanting to improve my boxing it’s a better reason than skin deep beauty and it’s why I haven’t given up. Everytime I tried to do it for vanity I failed. I am fairly jacked so I know what I’m talking about when it comes to getting gains
Source: this is my arm lmao
https://imgur.com/gallery/Ns9UNLh
Yeah I didn't state it at all but one of the main reasons I actually get myself to occasionally work out (without a routine) is because it helps me mentally. I've been looking into doing either the 5x5 Stronglifts routine or the phraks greyskull LP Variant I've seen posted around here. I was talking to a pal of mine earlier today and he was telling me he's at the point of having been lifting for so long he just does it out of habit. I really enjoyed boxing when I did it for a couple months with a pal but work and school got in the way. Ideally I'd get back into it but for now I'll likely be doing running for cardio and basketball for fun :)
Thank you swole armed comrade
although i've totally fucked up my routine at this point, for me the thing that worked was getting a routine going where i did a workout a few times per week (i'm not trying to get jacked or anything, just be slightly less doughy). Takes a couple of weeks of forcing yourself to do it but once you get the routine to do it established it's much easier (you've carved out the time in your mind, essentially)
Hey i have the same problem! Zero self-motivation.
Maybe someone can help us out.
I take a Calvinist view. Some people simply do no have it in them to change their life in this or any way and will only cause themselves pain in the effort. Even the best advice is wasted on you if you are not already among the elect. Not saying that's the case but it might be
Terrible take imo everyone has what it takes to put on shoes and walk around the block
Well yeah it seems completely trivial to you, because you are among the elect. But lots of people nevertheless do struggle with it and never work it out. Viewed through your lens, where it's easy and everyone has the capacity to do it, those who don't must look like real PoS failures. Couldn't even put on shoes and walk around the block, how foolish and morally weak! Whereas through my lens, where it's easy for some but impossible for others, there is no moral failing. Some of us just aren't loved by God
People will carry a heavy load if they get to pick the load. And so they think, I won't carry any load. Well, OK, fine, but then you're like the sled dog that doesn't have a sled to pull. You're going to tear pieces out of your own legs because you're bored. People are pack animals. They need to pull against a weight.
In order to bear up under this load, what is it you would need to be striving to attain? If you ask yourself then you will find and answer. The door won't open unless you knock. Positive emotion is generated in the conception of the better future and then the evidence that you generate yourself that you're moving towards it. That's where the meaning of life comes.
One thing that I’ve found starting back up is that it really helps to lower the barrier of what you’re expecting of yourself in order to keep the routine. By that I mean if I wake up and I’m exhausted I don’t think oh my god i have to go do an hour of weight training or whatever, I would just go back to sleep. I instead think ok, I am tired, but I am going to put on my workout clothes and my running shoes, and I’m just going to go to the gym. If I’m tired when I get there, I can turn around and go home, but to keep the routine this is all I need to do. And that’s it. Of course, once you’re on the way, fatigue decreases, and by the time I get there I’m ready to do something. even if that’s just walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes.
Even if you just put on your kit and walk in the door, stretch for 10 minutes and go home, that is a win, because it reinforces the routine, and once that routine is hard wired you will feel like shit NOT going.
