I've been dating someone the past few weeks and every time we're together we've got nice chemistry and have a great time.

We work close by and they come by on their lunch whenever we're both working to say hi and it's super cute and stuff. Recently one of our lunch breaks happened to OVERLAP(!!!) so we went and got lunch together and made plans to hang out that night, but they texted me a few hours later saying family stuff came up and they had to cancel :(

That's no biggy at all to me or my subconscious bc I know stuff happens I'm just setting the stage for how things usually go (we see each other in-person and make plans and then coordinate via text)

However, when it comes to texting the experience is a lot less fun and straightforward. When we text sometimes the response is quick, sometimes they're days apart. It's happened before where I don't hear anything from them for a couple days until they come and visit me at work and we make plans/hang out again. They've told me they're bad at texting so I try not to get worked up about it (especially since last time I did they came through and we made plans and had a great date).

Based on my past experiences with them, I should know not to get worked up about inconsistent texting. This time I've waited two whole days and still haven't heard back. I really like this person and they seem to really like me. I'm used to people I've had mutual interest with in the past get upset with me for not texting back in an hour, so to be on the other side of the shoe for an even longer time frame throws me out of wack.

I should be able to calm my brain knowing that we've only been on ~4? dates now and the bar of commitment for that is very low, especially since neither of us has expressed whether we want to just be friends w/ benefits or anything more. At the same time, they've also told me tons of stuff that I would assume doesn't come out unless you trust who you're talking to a lot?

I'm getting myself worked up worrying that someone I know, who likes me enough to bring snacks to me at work and sleep with me, doesn't like me. I'm relatively inexperienced person romantically, and I sure as hell don't have much of anything going on in my life right now other than finishing up school and working to pay my rent. So it makes sense in my mind that I could get prematurely worked up and worrisome in my mind, but knowing it's somewhat irrational doesn't let me wrench it out of my brain. I need to go on a run and clear my head rn but it's way too dark and sketch out rn to do so. I really like this person and I worry I'm just a hook-up for them, which would be fine if I knew that going in.

If you read my rant ily :soviet-heart:

I promise I don't just rant to internet strangers and actually talk about my stuff with friends and family but I feel it helps me to type it out and send it into the oblivion of internet anonymity. If these kinds of rants are inappropriate for c/chat please lmk :)

EDIT: Thank you all here is a :meow-hug: for everyone

  • Nakoichi [they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I’m getting myself worked up worrying that someone I know, who likes me enough to bring snacks to me at work and sleep with me, doesn’t like me.

    I'm bad at texting myself and also not the most experienced in these things but bruh, sounds like they really like you. Even if they do really like you as a FWB it sounds like there's at least a little more to it even if they just want to be really good friends with benefits. IDK like I said I'm bad at this shit too but sounds like you got something good there, just enjoy it and don't overthink it.

    Also of course I read it all :ancom-heart:

    • ChairmanAtreides [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      :meow-hug:

      Taking it a day at a time and letting it go where it goes is the plan, sadly the other parts of my brain don't agree

  • usa_suxxx
    ·
    16 days ago

    deleted by creator

  • RedCoat [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    As a serial bad text replier (apologies to literally everyone I know) try not to over think it, if I'm busy and someone texts I look at it, read it, mental note to reply later, then immediately forget that part and maybe something jogs my memory a few days later, and if I'm busy during that too the process repeats.

  • reaper_cushions [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Honestly, it sounds like you’re dating me (dw, you’re not), so… just don’t sweat it. It sometimes takes me days to reply to people simply because I push it back and then kind of forget about it. It’s probably not that they don’t think about you or that you don’t matter to them, it’s just that this form of communication does not come naturally to your partner.