hey comrade! saw this and logged in to post quick. This is a hella relatable question for me. Heads up: this is all coming from an enby perspective.
I agonized over labels for a really long time before I realized that labels exist to serve us and not the other way around.
Labels are useful as descriptors to give other people a shorthand for sorta getting a rough idea of us, but they can become really harmful when we allow them to tell us what we “should” be.
When it comes to gender especially, I’ve found it really helpful to just try things out, see what “clicks” for me and then come up with a label afterwards based on that.
I will say that cis people tend to not spend too much time thinking about their gender as it’s hella affirmed for them every day by society.
That said, introspection is fucking rad! I have cis friends who have unpacked their feelings on gender, experimented and questioned stuff for a while, and then decided that yup, they were cis. That is awesome! That is legitimately one of the most radical things I can think of!
This comment is bordering on a sermon though and I’m agnostic, so I guess the more important question here is: what makes you wonder whether you might be nonbinary?
Also I’m on a bus on the way to a Halloween party so will probably dip out before you have a chance to respond. I’ll try and get you a reply when I log on later, but other comrades can totally jump in and pick up the convo.
Solidarity and love! It sounds like you’re doing the hard work of introspection! That can be scary, but damn is the payoff worth it.
I will say that cis people tend to not spend too much time thinking about their gender as it’s hella affirmed for them every day by society.
I get this, but I've also thought a lot about my orientation at several stages in my life and always landed on "straight", so I'm not sure this applies to me personally. I'm prone to intrusive thoughts and fixation, so the fact that I think about something a lot doesn't really mean much.
This comment is bordering on a sermon though and I’m agnostic, so I guess the more important question here is: what makes you wonder whether you might be nonbinary?
I think the largest thing is seeing a picture or drawing of a cute girl with a comment under it saying "gender envy" and finding it relatable. At the same time, I don't mind the way I look (for the most part), I definitely prefer he/him pronouns, and I like being thought of as masculine to an extent.
I've played female characters in video games since I was a kid, and as I've gotten older I like dressing them in cute clothes. I occasionally talk to my sister about fashion and sometimes send her pictures of vg outfits I put together lol.
I think what really eats at me is a feeling that I'm missing out on half the human experience.
EDIT: I think the most import thing to me in terms of labeling is whether or not I'm part of the LGBT community, but because I don't really feel oppressed to excluded based on gender/sexuality it seems weird.
hey comrade! saw this and logged in to post quick. This is a hella relatable question for me. Heads up: this is all coming from an enby perspective.
I agonized over labels for a really long time before I realized that labels exist to serve us and not the other way around.
Labels are useful as descriptors to give other people a shorthand for sorta getting a rough idea of us, but they can become really harmful when we allow them to tell us what we “should” be.
When it comes to gender especially, I’ve found it really helpful to just try things out, see what “clicks” for me and then come up with a label afterwards based on that.
I will say that cis people tend to not spend too much time thinking about their gender as it’s hella affirmed for them every day by society.
That said, introspection is fucking rad! I have cis friends who have unpacked their feelings on gender, experimented and questioned stuff for a while, and then decided that yup, they were cis. That is awesome! That is legitimately one of the most radical things I can think of!
This comment is bordering on a sermon though and I’m agnostic, so I guess the more important question here is: what makes you wonder whether you might be nonbinary?
Also I’m on a bus on the way to a Halloween party so will probably dip out before you have a chance to respond. I’ll try and get you a reply when I log on later, but other comrades can totally jump in and pick up the convo.
Solidarity and love! It sounds like you’re doing the hard work of introspection! That can be scary, but damn is the payoff worth it.
:ancom-heart:
Oh shit, going to also throw this link out there, it’s a great resource that’s helped me a lot with identifying dysphoria and other gender stuff:
https://genderdysphoria.fyi/
It’s a longer read and a little more binary trans focused in some places, but fun if you want something to nerd out on.
I get this, but I've also thought a lot about my orientation at several stages in my life and always landed on "straight", so I'm not sure this applies to me personally. I'm prone to intrusive thoughts and fixation, so the fact that I think about something a lot doesn't really mean much.
I think the largest thing is seeing a picture or drawing of a cute girl with a comment under it saying "gender envy" and finding it relatable. At the same time, I don't mind the way I look (for the most part), I definitely prefer he/him pronouns, and I like being thought of as masculine to an extent.
I've played female characters in video games since I was a kid, and as I've gotten older I like dressing them in cute clothes. I occasionally talk to my sister about fashion and sometimes send her pictures of vg outfits I put together lol.
I think what really eats at me is a feeling that I'm missing out on half the human experience.
EDIT: I think the most import thing to me in terms of labeling is whether or not I'm part of the LGBT community, but because I don't really feel oppressed to excluded based on gender/sexuality it seems weird.