I agree with this. You really need to understand that other people are coming to you as complete human beings with life experiences leading up to this point. They are not a plot device in your life story.
I mean I'm autistic, so I literally am not really able to incorporate that level of meta-cognition into my mental-framework on a day-to-day basis w/ regards to interacting with other people.
Oh I'm autistic, too! I often have to remove myself from the person/situation that's bothering me and give myself reminders - I repeat that line about "everybody has a world inside their head" like a mantra. You can come to understand these concepts from a neurodivergent framework with practice. It also helps if you can get into psychology and philosophy as special interests.
I guess the real question I have is how do practically live in the world like that though, and manage to have your own needs met? Cause it seems like it's impossible to really meet people at a level of reciprocity today. IDK, maybe this is just me.
Oh it is absolutely not just you. Don't expect reciprocity because most people won't give it to you. That's okay, you don't do it because of the response you receive - you do it because it's right and it will make you feel better to do the right thing. This goes double for us neurodivergents.
The flipside of this is that it actually helps you to advocate for your own needs more easily. When you consider someone's personhood and their full range of experiences, you realize that asking for your needs to be met will hardly register as a blip to the other person. Your weird behaviors that you are constantly trying to mask? They stop thinking about those things two seconds after you leave the room. And so you begin to lose a little bit of that rejection sensitivity because you're able to see that their responses largely have nothing to do with you.
Idk, this has just been my journey lately. Good luck, bud - it's a tough world for little things like us.
Do you have any friends that are women? Maybe get to know one and you'll see her interests are her own, not your interests that she also likes
I agree with this. You really need to understand that other people are coming to you as complete human beings with life experiences leading up to this point. They are not a plot device in your life story.
This seems to be the main thing I need to understand.
It is hard to remember that every single person you interact with has an entire world inside their head. If you keep that in mind, you'll be okay!
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It's solipsism as folk religion, basically. It's easy to think that just because something is impossible to disprove it's true.
I mean I'm autistic, so I literally am not really able to incorporate that level of meta-cognition into my mental-framework on a day-to-day basis w/ regards to interacting with other people.
So like, wtf am I supposed to do here exactly?
Oh I'm autistic, too! I often have to remove myself from the person/situation that's bothering me and give myself reminders - I repeat that line about "everybody has a world inside their head" like a mantra. You can come to understand these concepts from a neurodivergent framework with practice. It also helps if you can get into psychology and philosophy as special interests.
I guess the real question I have is how do practically live in the world like that though, and manage to have your own needs met? Cause it seems like it's impossible to really meet people at a level of reciprocity today. IDK, maybe this is just me.
Oh it is absolutely not just you. Don't expect reciprocity because most people won't give it to you. That's okay, you don't do it because of the response you receive - you do it because it's right and it will make you feel better to do the right thing. This goes double for us neurodivergents.
The flipside of this is that it actually helps you to advocate for your own needs more easily. When you consider someone's personhood and their full range of experiences, you realize that asking for your needs to be met will hardly register as a blip to the other person. Your weird behaviors that you are constantly trying to mask? They stop thinking about those things two seconds after you leave the room. And so you begin to lose a little bit of that rejection sensitivity because you're able to see that their responses largely have nothing to do with you.
Idk, this has just been my journey lately. Good luck, bud - it's a tough world for little things like us.
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