like, flaccid button and hard slightly under average at best. There is a lot of hateful comments here that make me feel like shit. Please stop. Not every comrade with a penis has a good one. I'm tired of being reminded I can't pleasure partners if I ever stop being such a loser I can't get a partner. Honestly, I don't even try. Button dick stops me. Can we please at least stop the ableism here? I feel enough pain constantly going "oh I want to ask her out.... oh wait, I can't please her" already.
eh I’m bald and it sucks and makes it harder to present fem without wigs and shit but ultimately it’s the only answer. We have at best like three things that help with hair loss and they at best slow things down for most ppl and can cause other problems.
At a certain point, even if it sucks to hear, at best all any one can say and all you can do is just accept that that’s the hand you were dealt and make it work as best you can. It can suck and you can be sad about it, I spent more than my fair share feeling that way myself, but if that’s all you’re gonna do is be sad about it you’re holding your own self back at a certain point. Obv there’s better and worse ways to communicate that of course but it’s kind of a no win situation
I feel you, but this kind of misses the point. Even if it's in good faith, if a guy comes on here with insecurities and the crowd's response is "here is how you fix your issue", we're leaning in to society's emotional dismemberment of men. Women, in and out of women-only spaces, can express concerns and be met with sympathy, empathy, and emotional support. Why don't we do that for men? Shouldn't we be doing that for men, if we agree that patriarchy causes harm?
I understand where you’re coming from. I think this kinda comes down like “is this just thread for venting or are you actively seeking a solution” bc there are some things that everyone, not just men, will have to accept as not ideal things in their lives and have to learn to work around that and for me, my hairloss was one of those things I looked for every alternative solution to but I ended up having to accept it and I’ve seen scores of other amab people in hairloss communities do that to bc ultimately it was the only way.
Like definitely some people here have been a little crass about it and that could use some adjustment, and certainly if we want to use this as a jumping off point to discuss body shaming as it pertains to penis size I agree it’s bad. I saw a lot of people on twitter after the Greta tweet that ordinarily would be chill excusing it bc it was directed at a bad person and that kinda rubbed me the wrong way
But wrt talking about a particular person, I think “damn that sucks well there’s other stuff you can do” is really about all one can say. I guess my thing is I see a lot of people who just want to wallow about these unchangeable things, not confront and deal with it. And I’m not condescending it, that was me once too, I’ve been there. That’s fine, that’s a part of the process and it’s ok to be there. But what else can really be said? You can’t just be mad at the situation until it magically fixes itself bc it never will, at a certain point you have to try to find away to deal and grow around and beyond it.
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I'm very clearly not saying that society gives women an easy time with all their issues, but at the same time, if you think that patriarchical society doesn't harm men emotionally, you need to go read some Bell Hooks
Of course it harms men. I totally agree with you there. Forgive me, When you said 'emotional dismenberment' my mind read it as 'emotional castration' because it's something I've seen so often in chud circles. I completely missread what you were trying to say. Please ignore what I said.
you're so valid for that tbh I literally had to go to a thesaurus to try to figure out a word that conveyed the meaning and the significance but also wasn't ableist OR sexist because I got a similar gut feeling to you from my first draft
Isn't the concept that men are conditioned by patriarchy to be emotionally stunted and incapable of vulnerability pretty bog standard in feminist theory? I guess the wording might be a little extreme but I'm surprised to see pushback on that
Sorry I missread them. Disregard my comment
lul read your other comment and with what you thought it said that was a completely reasonable reaction. We stan a poster who clears up misunderstandings :stalin-approval:
there's no magic bullet but a finasteride/minoxidil regimen can do a lot. It comes down to the individual and there are points of no return but for many you can keep your hair longer with a little investment.
Male pattern baldness isn't going to be the same for everyone, especially in terms of progression. My dad had a noticeable bald spot at my age, whereas I've just got some thinning at the hairline and a touch at the crown. Jumping straight to shaving it all off "just to get it over with" as I see some people say is fine for some, especially if the writing's on the wall in early adulthood, but the way I see it pushed as the thing you just have to do and accept or else you're in denial is silly to me
Fin can cause a lot of problems. It can be fine but a lot of people, including myself came away with permanent sexual side effects from it. I genuinely wish I could go back and never take it and just accept it sooner bc the sides were not worth holding onto wispy hair for another couple years or so
Neither is it really a permanent solution, if you stop taking it, it’ll reverse and most people continue to lose hair on it just much slower.
Min mainly brings back baby hairs on the hairline it isn’t as effective for most people
Those things help but they’re not as effective for the majority of people, the guys who maintain and/or grow back a decent amount on them are the outliers
The only real long term solution is hair plugs and even that’s individual. I looked into it for my hairline but my crown would continue to deteriorate over time so for me and a lot of other amab people it isn’t really viable.
It can take time to get there but for now most of the things we have for hair loss are either not super effective, not super safe, or prohibitively expensive. most people with male pattern hairloss are gonna have to accept it and deal with it one day more likely than not
People can be silly about that stuff tho you’re right and part of it is toxic masculinity. I see a lot of guys being dinguses about hair systems bc “not my real hair!”
Yeah fin definitely isn't for everyone. I would push back on the permanency issue, though - it doesn't really need to be permanent, just either until you die or don't care about it. If you catch it early enough, "much slower" can be just fine. Plus it's very cheap now in generic form.
You're right in that it does have to be reckoned with at some point for many people, but I don't necessarily see it as delaying the inevitable, unless you caught it way too late. Instead it's just enjoying the time you have left with it.
I meant the sexual side effects are permanent
tho yeah you do have to take it as long as you’re wanting to keep it bc people shed quick when they come off it. My friend took it til he was in his 30s and practically went from Norwood 2-3 to like ceasar damn near in like a few months or so after stopping.
It’s an option but not a great one tbh with the risks. There’s a reason every doctor I tried to get to give me fin was very reticent. And everyone can make up their own mind based on the risks and stuff but idk if fin alone makes “one day you’ll probably have to accept baldness” obsolete by itself. It works ok for some people but not enough for me to feel secure about that. Hopefully one day they get something that does tho
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I’ve known a few people online and offline including myself. Maybe I’ve just been unlucky and around some other unlucky people but i really regret taking it. I don’t think it’s that uncommon based on the research I did prior to taking it I just decided to do it anyway, like your chances are still good but they’re common enough that warrants some concern.