I'm not like, FIRMLY against that idea despite my personal investment in the matter, but I do think trying to legislate away the agency of young adults is a bad path to go down. For me, I think a 19 year old is firmly capable of deciding who they want to love or fuck. And if coercion of some kind is used, then that can be approached legally because coercion was used.
I'm not saying arrest the younger party of the relationship. I would consider them the victim here
I think a 19 year old is definitely not capable of entering a relationship with a 25 year old on equal terms let alone a 50 year old. They have only begun to be adults at that point
I realize I shouldn't be admitting this in this thread but. I'm dating a 21 year old and we've been dating for two years. I'm in my thirties. You can find that gross if you want but she chose me and from talking to her I believe she is capable of deciding that on her own. Like I said, we've been together for two years and have discussed the age gap issue. She feels insulted and infantilized by people with your perspective on the situation.
Its also worth noting that like, due to autism and developmental delays I'm not actually in a significantly different "life stage" than she is. I dont have a family or career. We both have somewhat equally independent living situations (I live in disability housing, she lives on a commune).
I know when I was that age I would have thought the same and now realise how much maturing I have done since.
Every case is different and your case sounds like it's fine but I think as a general rule the power dynamics at play between a 19 year old and an older adult do not leave them on an equal playing field and I believe consent does require being on equal footing
My rule with age gap relationships between adults is that they arent inherently wrong, but the older partner has to be careful about how they approach the situation so they do not abuse the power dynamic.
I believe consent does require being on equal footing
There are definitly power dynamics too wide for consent to be a thing, but they are also power dynamics that are on the smaller end of things where consent isnt IMPOSSIBLE, just dicey.
or there could be different ages of consents for different ages. For example it could be illegal for someone over 25 to sleep with a teenager
I'm not like, FIRMLY against that idea despite my personal investment in the matter, but I do think trying to legislate away the agency of young adults is a bad path to go down. For me, I think a 19 year old is firmly capable of deciding who they want to love or fuck. And if coercion of some kind is used, then that can be approached legally because coercion was used.
I'm not saying arrest the younger party of the relationship. I would consider them the victim here
I think a 19 year old is definitely not capable of entering a relationship with a 25 year old on equal terms let alone a 50 year old. They have only begun to be adults at that point
I realize I shouldn't be admitting this in this thread but. I'm dating a 21 year old and we've been dating for two years. I'm in my thirties. You can find that gross if you want but she chose me and from talking to her I believe she is capable of deciding that on her own. Like I said, we've been together for two years and have discussed the age gap issue. She feels insulted and infantilized by people with your perspective on the situation.
Its also worth noting that like, due to autism and developmental delays I'm not actually in a significantly different "life stage" than she is. I dont have a family or career. We both have somewhat equally independent living situations (I live in disability housing, she lives on a commune).
I know when I was that age I would have thought the same and now realise how much maturing I have done since.
Every case is different and your case sounds like it's fine but I think as a general rule the power dynamics at play between a 19 year old and an older adult do not leave them on an equal playing field and I believe consent does require being on equal footing
My rule with age gap relationships between adults is that they arent inherently wrong, but the older partner has to be careful about how they approach the situation so they do not abuse the power dynamic.
There are definitly power dynamics too wide for consent to be a thing, but they are also power dynamics that are on the smaller end of things where consent isnt IMPOSSIBLE, just dicey.
I agree with that.
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