And how meaningful is the difference? I have told my best friend a couple of times that I love her , and she thinks it’s infatuation and that it will come to pass. In our two years knowing each other, we have been through and done so much together.
she has her reasons to say and think this way, her life is incredibly complex. She says she really does believe it and she says she has a better perspective since the feeling is familiar to her since she’s a girl. I obviously think differently but I have to defer to her at the moment.
This is an illuminating comment, great post
If anything, this makes me feel as if I am not, in fact, infatuated. And there’s been many, significant changes that have happened in her life. And nothing seems to have faded.
Regardless, I would respect her wishes as an individual and continue to love her as a friend. She's requesting that space and her autonomy should be respected even if things seem perfect otherwise. Maybe she'll change her mind, but I would not operate on that assumption or it will create unhealthy behaviors and poison the well.
I would take what you've learned from her about friendship and community and apply it elsewhere. Whether it's a polyamorous or monogamous or a series of flings or platonic friendgroups, whatever you need to move yourself in a forward direction. She can support you as your friend as you grow your community and/or romantic life and you can support her as her friend and not her prospective lover. She would probably appreciate you working to better yourself.
Of course. I really don’t have a choice in the matter but to maintain my beautiful friendship and not fuck it up by getting my feelings in the way.