Ill start : this weekend I got drunk and this cute girl was clearly signaling she was interested and I got into ranting David Foster Wallace platitudes like an infinite jest asshole 🤦🏻♂️ I mean she ate it up and seemed to love and engage with it but it still hurt to know I became what I was afraid of. She could have also just been humoring me but 🤷♂️.
I was talking about the “default setting” where you assume you are the center of the world. you could be miserable and think everyone else is in your way and judge them for whatever. When in reality you have no clue what they are going through and you could really be in the way of something much more serious. for example the guy who cuts you off could be rushing to the hospital or the hummer asshole could have trauma you don’t know about where they can only feel safe in a hummer.
which basically just describes modern alienation and a sort of radical benefit of doubt. This sort of forceful rejection of the self serving bias will help you connect with other people and curb the existential loneliness at least a bit.
The thing is that, of course, there are totally different ways to think about these kinds of situations. In this traffic, all these vehicles stopped and idling in my way, it’s not impossible that some of these people in SUV’s have been in horrible auto accidents in the past, and now find driving so terrifying that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive. Or that the Hummer that just cut me off is maybe being driven by a father whose little child is hurt or sick in the seat next to him, and he’s trying to get this kid to the hospital, and he’s in a bigger, more legitimate hurry than I am: it is actually I who am in HIS way.
I summarized lmao i was cross faded so like it was more scattershot but the radical empathy probably came through i guess because she wasn’t turned off from it.
Can confirm, have mood disorder and my feelings about people's intentions change all the time :( Mindfulness is the only thing that's helped me, basically it helps me pause and consider the possibility that there is a harried parent trying to get their child to safety instead of it just being an asshole who wants everyone else's day to suck as much as theirs.
TBH, I feel like the last thing applies to me when I am depressed and I feel I'm not the only one.
update if anyone comes across this. she replied when I tried to pin down a date and I definitely think she either wants something super casual or platonic. I think this because she insists on using the term us in reference to herself or you guys when saying how she wants to hang out with me. which is ok but cant lie im a tad bummed.
Ill start : this weekend I got drunk and this cute girl was clearly signaling she was interested and I got into ranting David Foster Wallace platitudes like an infinite jest asshole 🤦🏻♂️ I mean she ate it up and seemed to love and engage with it but it still hurt to know I became what I was afraid of. She could have also just been humoring me but 🤷♂️.
share any cringe IRL or online and be free fam
you opened up and that's how we make connections. I think she's into you and I have a good feeling about this
haha thank you I really appreciate your support ❤️seriously yall rule.
i guess we will see though😅
How about some examples
I was talking about the “default setting” where you assume you are the center of the world. you could be miserable and think everyone else is in your way and judge them for whatever. When in reality you have no clue what they are going through and you could really be in the way of something much more serious. for example the guy who cuts you off could be rushing to the hospital or the hummer asshole could have trauma you don’t know about where they can only feel safe in a hummer.
which basically just describes modern alienation and a sort of radical benefit of doubt. This sort of forceful rejection of the self serving bias will help you connect with other people and curb the existential loneliness at least a bit.
That sounds a lot more coherent than Wallace
Wallace used the same examples
That speech really spoke to me and got my wheels turning
I summarized lmao i was cross faded so like it was more scattershot but the radical empathy probably came through i guess because she wasn’t turned off from it.
Can confirm, have mood disorder and my feelings about people's intentions change all the time :( Mindfulness is the only thing that's helped me, basically it helps me pause and consider the possibility that there is a harried parent trying to get their child to safety instead of it just being an asshole who wants everyone else's day to suck as much as theirs.
TBH, I feel like the last thing applies to me when I am depressed and I feel I'm not the only one.
update if anyone comes across this. she replied when I tried to pin down a date and I definitely think she either wants something super casual or platonic. I think this because she insists on using the term us in reference to herself or you guys when saying how she wants to hang out with me. which is ok but cant lie im a tad bummed.