I wear UGG boots in winter because it's fucking cold.
I also wrap myself in a blanket on the couch, and have a lovely area rug so I don't have to walk on a cold floor. All these things are necessary to survive the winter; my house isn't well insulated.
The problem with all this, is that I build up a static charge. So when I go to pat my beautiful sweetheart of a dog, I zap him. It's audible and I'm sure, quite unpleasant. Often on the head. He obviously doesn't like that, I think he's taking it personally, and I feel awful. It completely cancels out the affection I'm trying to show him.
So the question for the Lemmy community is:
How do I discharge the static before I pat my dog? I have started shocking my partner (which he doesn't like, but accepts over the alternative), before patting my dog. But as he's out tonight, I have no human vessel to offer as tribute?
What can I touch in my house before patting my dog so that he doesn't receive a shock?
Edit: standard Australian house and furniture
Another edit: I'm all the sheets to the wind so the engineering advice is not sinking in. But I'm loving the immediate response that I'd never have gotten on Deaddit.
Again: I can't stop giggling at how helpful everyone is being and how short m, drunk and silly I am, in a house with apparently no metal
And again: I should probably take me and my baby to bed now, but a big thank you to everyone who replied. You've all been lovely. Lemmy is really a different space to ask these questions! I'll be trying out many of your suggestions over the weekend; big thanks from me and my boy x
Final: thanks to everyone who responded. I did try the kitchen tap again last night and this time it worked! Mustn't have built up enough charge when I tried the night I posted. I will still primarily zap my partner's leg as it's usually closer and doing it makes me laugh. It's important he understands where he fits in the household hierarchy as well. I also learnt that American houses are very different (screws and radiators everywhere!) so that was interesting too.
No metal? Get some Megadeath albums to fix that.
Here in the us there are certain fabric sprays that help with static buildup, so there might be some alternative over there in Australia.
A humidifier will also work but is pricier in comparison.
Lastly you can wrap a cover cable to your anke and burry the other side in the ground 😆
Does mumbling 'the ace of spades' to myself over and over work? Because I was already doing that due to playing cards earlier
Contrary to popular belief the metal is in the mustache, not the lyrics. I think there was a mythbuster episode about it or something
If by any chance you have wall sockets with the ground connection exposed, you could touch that before petting the good boy/girl.
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Same thing for radiators and their supply/return lines. Those should be grounded as well. Also the sink.
Two suggestions: run a humidifier. Preferably use a steam one with distilled water. The ultrasonic cool mist ones introduce any minerals and bacteria that are in the water into the air.
The easiest suggestion is to change your blanket. I'm guessing you're wrapping yourself in a fuzzy fleece blanket. Synthetic fibers like polyester transfer way more static charge than natural fibers. Try looking for a cotton or wool throw. Or for something fuzzy, find a sheep pelt with wool on it. Even using a cotton sheet between you and your current blanket should reduce the amount of charge buildup.
A side benefit of changing blanket materials, is that any blanket that generates a lot of static charge also holds loads of dust and pet hairs. A less static generating blanket will stay cleaner longer.
The easiest way to discharge is to touch a metal faucet. If you have copper pipes, they'll be grounded, but even just the tap water is conductive enough to dissipate most of the charge.
Anything conductive and grounded. For example, a lamp with a steel or copper body.
I've lived in Denver for the past 15 years or so, this is a problem I relate to. If you live in a house or apartment with drywall, it turns out that the corners are made of metal under the plaster. For years I have discharged myself by bumping my forearms against the corner of a wall before flipping a light switch to avoid a painful shock on the tips of my fingers
On the plus side, your dog must be convinced that you are a wizard. You need something to ground yourself on.
Touch a radiator. Radiators should be earthed. You can also touch the screws on light switches and sockets, or your sink or stove. Any earthed metal, metal appliances (eg kettles and toasters) should work also. They have to be plugged in, but don't need to be on.
This is it.
Also a humidifier may help. Static builds up more in dry air.
You're in Australia right? Can't be that cold, just tough it out.
Just kidding, personal heating is a very good solution to being cold. It's much better for the environment and your wallet than heating your house/room.
I use electric blankets though no UGGs. Except rare occasions, my cats don't get zapped. Have you tried going without and see if it makes a difference?
How about a chain, mate? You can get one at Bunnings by the metre. You can place this somewhere convenient and touch it with the quarter as another commenter said. Not sure if carrying one in your pocket and casually dragging it on the floor would work.
Alternatively just stick a fork in a plant pot, that'll do for grounded metal I hope
Neither here, try the house keys or any coin then, something's gotta work
Do you have anything else that might be earthed? A metal tap will probably work, so long as it is attached to a metal pipe.
Like my kitchen tap? I think it's coated metal rather than, I dunno, an outdoor tap.. Would that still work?
Yeah, absolutely, that's what I meant. I am pretty sure that will be earthed. Go work up a charge and give it a try.
Equally, if you have a metal oven or any metal electrical equipment that is earthed that will work too.
I just tried and felt no shock... Would I feel it if it worked? I'm willing to feel the pain myself.
I would have thought so. Maybe you have non-metal pipes leading to the tap.
Can anyone else in the thread think of something?
My mom makes a chain of safety pins (about 8-10 long) and attaches it to her clothes. Then you grab the chain and touch things with it (or it touches things as it dangles) to discharge w/o pain or hurting others. I tried it, seemed to work.
They are screws holding the plate on, usually two flathead screws above and below the switch or paddle that them connect to the junction box which is how they ground you.
Covered in plastic how? Mine all look like this https://imgur.com/a/9EBDjPS
There's these little white plastic plugs over screws, or an entire plastic panel over the top
Replacement covers are like $1.25 at the hardware store. If you’re renting, you can save what’s there in some closet and put them back when you move out.
If you really don't have anything metal in your house (metal sinks or any appliance with an outer metal shell that should be grounded), grab an extension cord, cut it and completely remove any cable that is not the yellow and geeen one, that is the earth cable (assuming in Australia that is the correct color scheme), expose that wire and touch it to discharge. Make sure the other cables are in no way exposed. If yoy want to be extra safe, buy a plug and only connect the earth cable.
/s of course, don't do that unless you know your way around AC power
I usually go with the light switch/outlet screw but you said those are covered. There must be grounded metal somewhere in your house. The microwave body, a pipe or faucet, you could even get one of those grounding wrist straps that plug into the ground port on your wall socket.
