alright so if all goes well i'm about to land a job that has insurance. first thing i'm doing is getting on T. this workplace culture i know nothing about, so i'm assuming the worst and that it's probably not kind to LGBT people. so, ideally i'd like to pretend to be my AGAB while taking hormones.
eventually i won't be able to hide it, right? should i get out ahead of it and talk to HR in a few months, or should i keep quiet and plan to find another job where i can apply as a man after a couple years? i know y'all can't know if the place is going to be kind to trans people or not, so i guess the question is more, what would you do in my place?
i'd prefer being stealth but i'd do whatever it takes to transition. i need this.
Personally I've been applying to jobs as a woman, but I only tell them after they offer me the job or if they are LGBT friendly outright. Apparently I pass well enough on the phone to get away with this, altho I don't really think I do, and most jobs don't actually expect you to do in person interviews anymore, I've found.
This might not work for everyone tho, so be if you don't think you can get away with it I would definitely try to just work somewhere temporarily as your AGAB and look for another job in the meantime. That's what I'm currently doing, nobody at my current job knows I'm trans. I'm sure my closest friends at work suspect it, but I otherwise haven't told anyone and it's not too bad, as long as you don't mind, yknow being constantly misgendered, but at least no one is hostile.
so, having done this the absolutely wrongest wrong way that ever wronged and wayed, yeah, get on T first, then talk to HR. getting on T may involve a bunch of doctor stuff, maybe get in on that whole therapy thing apparently talking about your feelings is like good or something? idk. anyways, then go ahead and when you can't just keep getting she/her'd to death at work, tell HR. do this when absolutely nothing is going wrong at work. like, don't be pooping too long at work type level.... like... make them all NEEED you. install small explosive devices all over work that can be detonated by a burner cell phone. buy everything with cash. get blackmail evidence about every part of the management of the company. maybe a fuckin spy agency? idk?
then tell HR. be ready for suddenly being terrible at your job and you can't ever be good at it and it's totally not because you're trans. and so you start blackmailing them and blowing up the office and shit like that.
but maybe they're actually cool with it? and just regular terrible? idk, not sure how that'll work but theoretically you might just send an email or tell everyone somehow and then all followup questions would be directed to HR maybe, or you if you really want them, but like, then everyone would be expected to use your new pronouns and you'd change your signature and blah blah blah new gender who dis.
and so like it can work out, and different companies have very different HR departments wrt to this, but like, idk check it out. it's a protected class in the US kinda so they'll generally at least let you come out yourself to everyone and be shitty and not offer any support. but like, that's not so bad either, as long as your coworkers are generally okayish i guess? idk. again, I didn't do this and am now out by way of unemployment 😎
I'm MTF but hopefully this helps. I transitioned from the beginning at my old job, including being stealth on hormones for quite a while, like 6 or 7 months.
By the time I was ready to come out I was pretty dang certain I wasn't going to get any shit about it, so I sent a message to my team and HR at the end of the day, then came back the next morning and had all the awkward conversations.
I think if I had been at a company that was definitely not a good environment, I'd move to another company.
So pretty much exactly what you're saying. I think you have the right idea.