My, it's been a long time since I logged in (or even checked the site.) I still recognize many names, but will they recognize me though; I've never been that prolific of a poster in the first place. Lately, I've been in kind of a tying-up-loose-ends kind of mood, but also a nostalgic one. I really liked this community but I don't it could work out for me to stay. I've started to try and fix the various problems in my life and just be unapologetically myself. I can't be here anymore without feeling like an imposter.
Honestly, I want to start learning Chinese too. I've been learning Japanese the last 5 years on and off because I am a weeb (It could be worse, though, I could be a sexpat). All languages are going to be pretty hard starting out, but I know in particular Chinese has difficult pronunciation to learn, as well as the characters of course.
Cleaning my living space :jordan-eboy-peterson: I don't consider it necessary for survival, but it's a really nice thing to have. I've also been working on language learning again after having lapsed for a while. Maybe I'll even be able to start reading theory again 🤣. I don't have that much time, and have pretty bad executive function in the first place, so being able to do anything at all is pretty good for me.
This place is usually pretty good about it in comparison to literally everywhere else, but in general people or communities I thought were cool have a tendency to reveal that they have horrible beliefs in some specific way. All mental illness is stigmatized in our culture, but then you get people who really do say they support people with mental illness uwu until you start to show scary symptoms. Like, you'll get someone who had a toxic partner once and now they have a vendetta against all people with Borderline Personality disorder, or they had horrible parents and reddit taught them the word "narcissist" so now they have a very personal grudge against all people with narcissistic personality disorder, despite being completely unrelated. NTs sometimes really seem to be allergic to the idea NTs can just be horrible people, despite all of human history.
Anyways, when you have so much stuff with yourself going on, you tend to have at least one thing about yourself that can be off-putting to whoever your talking to at any given time. I guess I'm just suffering from suscess :among-drip:. Ranting about it is cathartic (so thanks for letting me use you as an excuse to rant), but for the one person who actually cares about and accepts me in real life, I don't want to cause extra problems for them on top of their own problems. Guess I should log in more.
First from being trans, and then having a stigmatized mental illness, by the time you get passed people who want you dead simple for existing, you start to really doing or saying anything that will jeopardize your standing with whoever is left, it leads to a feeling of alienation.
The way they work is that within the bomb a fission reaction is detonated providing the energy to start the fustion reaction, which then emits even more energy for a much larger total explosion. Apparently, the largest pure fission bomb ever detonated by the United States was Ivy King, which was a 540 kt explosion. The largest hydrogen bomb ever detonated, The Tsar Bomba, was about 50-58 Mt, about 100 times stronger than the strongest pure fission bomb.
A pure fusion bomb would be impractical, but using a fission bomb as the "ignition", we have a the modern nuclear weapon and a destructive source of fusion. Doing fusion in a controlled way so that we can harvest the energy is much more difficult.
It's actually pretty easy to softmod a wii, you only need a guide and a usb stick. With it, you can play any pirated wii and gamecube games, as well as run emulators, mods, and other useful software.
I'm not sure if I feel 'pride' in being trans (maybe in surviving while trans in a harsh world), but I still have a positive view of being trans. I was just really happy that I could be a girl, when my egg was cracking, and that I has solved a reason why my life wasn't right before. Now what I do resent is the reactionary capitalist society we live in that at the very best just doesn't take us seriously. We are subject to constantly being made to feel invalid, etc, etc, existing in spite of that is indeed something to be proud of. Anyway, yeah I view it as instead of internalizing the negativity, correctly externalize it back onto where it came from.
I guess I'll opportunist post too, that is volunteer to moderate a comm or two. I give this site my full attention for 2-3 hours per day, and am "around" for pretty much the entirety while I'm not asleep.
I think you have the wrong person in mind, I never ran any book clubs xd