Permanently Deleted

  • sailor_redstar [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Logged on for the anniversary.

    Being logged off for a while hasn’t helped with feeling alienated from others, but I have been able to be a lot more productive :commiku:

    • comi [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      :meow-bounce:

      Sucks about alienation though

      • sailor_redstar [she/her]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Thanks for the support comrade.

        First from being trans, and then having a stigmatized mental illness, by the time you get passed people who want you dead simple for existing, you start to really doing or saying anything that will jeopardize your standing with whoever is left, it leads to a feeling of alienation.

          • sailor_redstar [she/her]
            ·
            3 years ago

            :heart-sickle:

            This place is usually pretty good about it in comparison to literally everywhere else, but in general people or communities I thought were cool have a tendency to reveal that they have horrible beliefs in some specific way. All mental illness is stigmatized in our culture, but then you get people who really do say they support people with mental illness uwu until you start to show scary symptoms. Like, you'll get someone who had a toxic partner once and now they have a vendetta against all people with Borderline Personality disorder, or they had horrible parents and reddit taught them the word "narcissist" so now they have a very personal grudge against all people with narcissistic personality disorder, despite being completely unrelated. NTs sometimes really seem to be allergic to the idea NTs can just be horrible people, despite all of human history.

            Anyways, when you have so much stuff with yourself going on, you tend to have at least one thing about yourself that can be off-putting to whoever your talking to at any given time. I guess I'm just suffering from suscess :among-drip:. Ranting about it is cathartic (so thanks for letting me use you as an excuse to rant), but for the one person who actually cares about and accepts me in real life, I don't want to cause extra problems for them on top of their own problems. Guess I should log in more.

      • sailor_redstar [she/her]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Cleaning my living space :jordan-eboy-peterson: I don't consider it necessary for survival, but it's a really nice thing to have. I've also been working on language learning again after having lapsed for a while. Maybe I'll even be able to start reading theory again 🤣. I don't have that much time, and have pretty bad executive function in the first place, so being able to do anything at all is pretty good for me.

        • thethirdgracchi [he/him, they/them]
          ·
          3 years ago

          For me having a clean space is necessary for my mental survival. Feels like I can't do anything when everything around me is messy. What language are you taking on right now? I'm trying Chinese and the going is slooooow.

          • sailor_redstar [she/her]
            ·
            3 years ago

            Honestly, I want to start learning Chinese too. I've been learning Japanese the last 5 years on and off because I am a weeb (It could be worse, though, I could be a sexpat). All languages are going to be pretty hard starting out, but I know in particular Chinese has difficult pronunciation to learn, as well as the characters of course.