Permanently Deleted

  • PurrLure [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Job searching already sucks ass, but apparently there are job listings out there with the title "sales superstar"???

    :internet-delenda-est: End me.

  • TankieDukakis [none/use name]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I've deleted/retyped this so many times because I don't know how to word this and typing this onto a random internet forum isn't going to change anything but here goes I guess.

    Today sucks extra hard.

    I used to work at a private boarding school for kids who couldn't live at home. It was like a residential school but private so we didn't have to write kids up for literally everything. Still hell on earth for the kids but better than the alternative.

    I met this one boy there who immediately tested me. He threw a stapler at my head in class. He would have these spats of absolute rage. I hated this kid.

    Slowly but surely he grew on me as I learned about him. He's actually a very charming kid when he's not stressed. I learned he's dealt with sexual abuse from his older brother, being adopted at a young age, his adoptive home being filled with screaming from his siblings, and then his adoptive parents divorcing (he blames himself). If you're keeping track of the score, that's well over half the major childhood trauma events.

    We eventually got really close, even though I probably shouldn't have let that happen. He literally feels like a little brother. I was the only staff member who he got along with and he was actually improving his behaviors.

    Around March last year right before the lockdown, my mother, who was the director of the program, was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. Because she was unable to work, along a myriad of other reasons, the program was shut down and the kids were either sent home or, like the kid I got close with, sent to other placements.

    My mother passed away in July. It was hard, of course. Thankfully, I've mostly worked through it. I knew I would never see her again, but I'm holding on hope I can see this kid again. She urged me to give him another chance.

    I was able to call/write this kid until February when he was moved to his 3rd placement in less than a year. He hasn't been doing well and his behaviors have regressed. I haven't been able to talk to him since.

    Today is his 15th birthday. I stalk his adoptive parents on Facebook. They haven't posted anything despite posting birthday stuff in previous years. Still time obviously and I'm probably over thinking, but I don't think they want him and are trying to not think about him.

    Just miss him. I know he's struggling and it hurts that I could do more to help. I considered asking if he could live with me for awhile but never did. Probably wouldn't have been allowed to but still feel guilty for not asking.

    Hope I don't have to wait 3 years to hear from him again. Assuming he remembers me of course.

    I don't know if this makes sense. It hardly does to me. I don't know why I miss this kid so much.

    Just sad and mad and lonely today. Idk.

    • comi [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      :meow-hug: you can maybe write to his parents on fb?

      • TankieDukakis [none/use name]
        ·
        3 years ago

        I have his parents' numbers from when he was there.

        Texting his dad maybe gets me a response weeks later. I made sure and texted like a month ago and asked if I could call/write today. He actually got back to me and said his DHS worker said no. I think he appreciates how I helped him but not great with communication.

        I think his mom hates me. She never responds. When I texted her after not hearing from his dad for a few weeks she never responded but his dad immediately responded lol

        I genuinely don't know if the DHS worker won't let me contact him or if his dad is using that to deflect blame.

    • Woly [any]
      ·
      3 years ago

      He definitely remembers you. Kids who grow up in tough shit like that don't forget the reprieves they found along the way.

      • TankieDukakis [none/use name]
        ·
        edit-2
        3 years ago

        Hopefully. He just isn't the most assertive kid. Like I have no doubt he wants to talk to me, he just doesn't really push his parents on it.

        And I love the kid, but he doesn't have a great memory. Like I hope he remembers how to spell my name so he looks me up on Facebook or something.

        And like, will he remember me enough to care to find me in 3 years? I hope so.

  • hexaflexagonbear [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    lol I love that the pretense to being anti-trans women in girls sports is that it is about fairness and just some fundamental biological facts meant that trans women shouldn't compete. Yep, no transphobia, just apolitically caring about who gets to compete in women's sports. And yet every single comment I see either intentionally misgenders the athlete or puts "she" in quotation marks. Like just the absolute thinnest veneer.

    • viva_la_juche [they/them, any]
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      a funny thing for me personally about this discourse is i have a family member who always used to get mad when people would bring up women's sports (funding or pay disparities between female and male athletes and such) and say shit like "the fact of the matter is people just dont care about women's sports. It doesn't make money. people want to see men play and that's all there is to it." and not that guy suddenly cares a fucking lot about women's sports.

    • Rem [she/her]
      ·
      3 years ago

      One I've become more aware of recently is people using "they" (or awkward language like "this individual") for binary trans women that definitely use she/her, this is especially common with libs who want to be transphobic without blatantly misgendering them.

      • Wojackhorseman2 [he/him]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Oh cool they can’t figure out singular they except to be an asshole with it

  • WhyEssEff [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    preemptively :jesse-wtf: ing myself but it is insane how dream made a video with fucking NOTCH in 2020 who has been a known nazi for like what, 6 years now? and is essentially immune to career repercussions meanwhile a speedrunner (fireb0rn) who called him out for cheating after he admitted to cheating has been fucking dogpiled on with dislikes for literally just following the logic of dreams statement to its logical conclusions. idolization culture remains a mistake :desolate:

    • Woly [any]
      ·
      3 years ago

      Because don't buy software like a stooge, that's why

  • FunnyUsername [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Sitting at work, alone, turned away from the cameras, hand in my bra, feeling up my boobs, just vibing

  • viva_la_juche [they/them, any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    since we're in libre, why does libreoffice on windows not have a true dark mode :(

    inb4 "since we're in libre, why aren't you on linux?"

  • buh [any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Half the skillset of being a white collar worker is being very fast at pressing alt+tab without looking