this girl that in knew in highscool as a white libertarian gay guy is now a liberal bisexual trans women. we love to see it, of course. so she reaches out to me to apologized to all the shitty sometimes racist shit she said in highschool that led to us no longer being friends. i say yeah 100% forgiven lets catch up. so we do and we end up chatting for like a year, we get close, she send me update pics of her boob development and pics of her gf, i share my poetry, its nice.until one day while talking about what defines us and she says something like "humanist, pagan woman" and im like cool i would say i think of myself in my own mind foremost as a black nonbinary communist, i also said being a black and communist were the two things i loved to most about me. she takes a long pause and basically tells me i "put too much stock into labels, and that im negatively reminding her of some poc communist friend she has thats "too aggressive" and "denies the genocide of ukrainans" and im "being held back by thinking of everything through race. for context this girl has made being a transwomen a huge part of her personality, constantly complaining about the cis (hell yeah) she talks about being a transwomen and autistic every conversation and i think thats awesome and cool. but apparently i cant talk about being black or a communist. FURTHER CONTEXT one of the reason we originally stopped being friends was in part because she tried to tell me not too identify as black because "were just people labels are reductive". i gave a bs excuse about why i dont want to be friends anymore but yeah i was thinking about it today and just wanted to vent. it was a while ago but it still sucks.

i feel like this is a thing with white queers in general, especcialy if they had a "conservative phase"

and before someone asked why i was friends with a libertarian in high school the answer is i loved arguing and she would threaten mean boys for me.