hey jerk what's the deal with you leaving all these invisible webs at face height for me to walk into?

You're not scary. I'm just shivering from piss shivers not cos I'm scared. Honest.

Hello friend spider. Together we will bring an end to mosquitoes, indoor and out.

I like you :)

If you keep zooming towards my feet ur gonna get squished and it won't be my fault.

this struggle shall be legendary

I have a cat now. You wouldn't last a day in my home asshole

This one. Oh I like you.

There is no room for spiders in this abode, dirt or not.