Here are my thoughts. I hope hearing them can help.
Gender is complicated, and deeply ingrained in society. It’s normal to have hang ups and various *phobias. The important thing is that those phobias are acknowledged and worked through, instead of embraced. In that sense, what you did was fine—you had a particular hang up, and you acknowledged it and discussed it with likeminded people.
The problem is, you also had a position of authority in the community, which came with its own set of problems.
Firstly, words can—and will—be taken out of context. In doing so, they cease to be a person attempting to work through a hangup, and become a value statement.
The second is that even with context, it raises questions of whether those hang ups influence other decisions.
The solution is for authority figures to be held to a higher standard of conduct. The price of helping to run a shitposting, therapeutic community is that you don’t get to shitpost as hard or be as emotionally open.
In the long run, you’re better within the community than above it or detached from it. I don’t take your demodding as a mark against your character, but rather as a realignment of the relationship you have with people in the community.
That doesn’t mean that your efforts to date should be ignored. You stepped up, at short notice, to help manage a community. That deserves praise, regardless of the outcome, or whether you choose to remain here.
You made a mistake. But it was a small mistake in the grand scheme of things. It's not like you admitted to being a pedo apologist or anything. I get why Beatnik made the call to demod you, but you're absolutely still welcome around here in my view. You're a good person who's been through some shit and made some mistakes, Rachel. And that's OK. We all make mistakes.
I'm the Ralphus weenie. Personally, I wouldn't have fired you, but it happened while I was asleep so I don't think I get a say in it. All I can tell you is talk to Beatnik about it.
And don't keep saying "tell me to fuck off". Your voice matters as much as anyone else's, you don't need to put yourself down all the time, and I don't want you to keep putting yourself down all the time.
you should stay imo. I wasn't following all of this but Kia is right. As much as it must sting for this to happen, and I understand it probably stings extra hard coming at an already difficult time, you haven't been rejected. Probably feels like rejection right now but "realignment" is a good word. fwiw, every mod/admin is probably going to end up right where you are now at some point or another
Yeah. That’s normal, understandable, and valid. You were publicly called out, and stripped of a position. That‘ll sting in the best of scenarios.
It’s the role of people you’re close with to support you right now. If you feel the need to step back from the wider community, that’s valid. If you want to stay, that’s also valid. People will accommodate whatever you pick.
I had written out a whole-ass post sort of defending you in the callout thread, but decided it wasn't my place to post it and people would get mad. Maybe that decision was made by the liberal in me. You're probably better off not being a volunteer online cop anyway.
Here are my thoughts. I hope hearing them can help.
Gender is complicated, and deeply ingrained in society. It’s normal to have hang ups and various *phobias. The important thing is that those phobias are acknowledged and worked through, instead of embraced. In that sense, what you did was fine—you had a particular hang up, and you acknowledged it and discussed it with likeminded people.
The problem is, you also had a position of authority in the community, which came with its own set of problems.
Firstly, words can—and will—be taken out of context. In doing so, they cease to be a person attempting to work through a hangup, and become a value statement.
The second is that even with context, it raises questions of whether those hang ups influence other decisions.
The solution is for authority figures to be held to a higher standard of conduct. The price of helping to run a shitposting, therapeutic community is that you don’t get to shitpost as hard or be as emotionally open.
In the long run, you’re better within the community than above it or detached from it. I don’t take your demodding as a mark against your character, but rather as a realignment of the relationship you have with people in the community.
That doesn’t mean that your efforts to date should be ignored. You stepped up, at short notice, to help manage a community. That deserves praise, regardless of the outcome, or whether you choose to remain here.
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Absolutely.
You made a mistake. But it was a small mistake in the grand scheme of things. It's not like you admitted to being a pedo apologist or anything. I get why Beatnik made the call to demod you, but you're absolutely still welcome around here in my view. You're a good person who's been through some shit and made some mistakes, Rachel. And that's OK. We all make mistakes.
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I'm the Ralphus weenie. Personally, I wouldn't have fired you, but it happened while I was asleep so I don't think I get a say in it. All I can tell you is talk to Beatnik about it.
And don't keep saying "tell me to fuck off". Your voice matters as much as anyone else's, you don't need to put yourself down all the time, and I don't want you to keep putting yourself down all the time.
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Yeah, I’d like you back. Otherwise this place will just wind up full of stodgy MLs and armchair struggle sessions.
you should stay imo. I wasn't following all of this but Kia is right. As much as it must sting for this to happen, and I understand it probably stings extra hard coming at an already difficult time, you haven't been rejected. Probably feels like rejection right now but "realignment" is a good word. fwiw, every mod/admin is probably going to end up right where you are now at some point or another
you ain't a chud, so yes.
Please don't go. I like you being around.
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Yeah. That’s normal, understandable, and valid. You were publicly called out, and stripped of a position. That‘ll sting in the best of scenarios.
It’s the role of people you’re close with to support you right now. If you feel the need to step back from the wider community, that’s valid. If you want to stay, that’s also valid. People will accommodate whatever you pick.
I absolutely agree with this.
I had written out a whole-ass post sort of defending you in the callout thread, but decided it wasn't my place to post it and people would get mad. Maybe that decision was made by the liberal in me. You're probably better off not being a volunteer online cop anyway.
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