my leftest leftist friend told me a while ago that I’m easily the most radical person she knows. Which… doesn’t bode well?

that's very a very lib thought that radical = bad. every time the world changed for the better there were people with crazy, radical ideas pushing for that change and making it possible. our own contemporary world and life has been made possible by people like the american revolutionaries and the jacobins.

but I can’t help but feel like that’s what we’re (I’m) doing here sometimes.

I do get what you're saying and I feel the same way sometimes. And that's good that we question our beliefs and the people we hang around. I don't think incels and forum-crawling neonazis do the same.
My political beliefs aren't based upon hatred for my own life and groups of people, but rather that a better world, where people can live with dignity and without exploitation is possible. This the core distinction between left-wing ideologies and far-right ones.