So, ages ago I needed to buy a car and no one in my friend group had a truck which was a problem because it meant a truck needed to be rented regularly for truck things and I decided that I could just like, get a truck because everyone's always "no don't buy a truck everyone will ask you to help them with things" and me in my conniving evilness was all "HAHAHA YES OPPORTUNITIES FOR AID. FOOLS!" so I anyway I buy a truck and things are good and I help my friends and help acquaintances and turn them into friends in the process and everyone is happy.
Then I move and I'm all "oh yes there is a lack of truck in this neighborhood and I, through the might of truck, shall become the king of aid and establish a glorious network of mutually owed favors far too complex to ever keep track of and this everyone will be forced to always be awesome to each other muahahahaha" and it TOTALLY FUCKING FAILED in this BOUGIE ASS NEIGHBORHOOD because folks fall distinctly into two camps:
Folks who take favors SERIOUSLY and track debts to the dime and literally record actions and deeds done to ensure everything is paid exactly in kind and never going above or beyond in the return or offering help, merely repaying.
Folks who assume that I am respecting them in the authority sense not the as-a-person sense and therefore treat me like a fucking servant. I do their dump runs in the truck. I trimmed their trees, I planted their plants, I dug their ditches, I mended their fences, and then I don't mow my fucking lawn for a month during the goddamned end of the world and I get a letter from the fucking HOA threatening a lien on my house because one of them didn't like it. Literally all take, no give.
So now I don't give. I don't give a hand. I don't give a lift. I don't give a damn. I don't give a fuck. I have just found other communities I can aid and will do the absolute bare minimum to not get in legal trouble while maximizing my house's eyesoreness. I wish to be a blight on their suburb.
I've lived in both apartments and detached housing and I'm convinced that nothing short of a long stint in a re-education camp can correct suburban brain rot.
So, ages ago I needed to buy a car and no one in my friend group had a truck which was a problem because it meant a truck needed to be rented regularly for truck things and I decided that I could just like, get a truck because everyone's always "no don't buy a truck everyone will ask you to help them with things" and me in my conniving evilness was all "HAHAHA YES OPPORTUNITIES FOR AID. FOOLS!" so I anyway I buy a truck and things are good and I help my friends and help acquaintances and turn them into friends in the process and everyone is happy.
Then I move and I'm all "oh yes there is a lack of truck in this neighborhood and I, through the might of truck, shall become the king of aid and establish a glorious network of mutually owed favors far too complex to ever keep track of and this everyone will be forced to always be awesome to each other muahahahaha" and it TOTALLY FUCKING FAILED in this BOUGIE ASS NEIGHBORHOOD because folks fall distinctly into two camps:
So now I don't give. I don't give a hand. I don't give a lift. I don't give a damn. I don't give a fuck. I have just found other communities I can aid and will do the absolute bare minimum to not get in legal trouble while maximizing my house's eyesoreness. I wish to be a blight on their suburb.
I've lived in both apartments and detached housing and I'm convinced that nothing short of a long stint in a re-education camp can correct suburban brain rot.
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