omg heartbreak at the frail one. being so skiddish around you + dirty & frail, it would be really hard for me to ignore these warning signs too. someone at an animal shelter told me that the only way to deal with it is you have to tell yourself they're ok. otherwise, it's too much to bear. the shelter is the most responsible move, good on you for taking the time to do it too.

one of my cats had lots of behavioral problems (especially in the beginning). she's been with me 10 years and has since learned to love attention, getting petted/brushed, and recently is even starting to learn to play with toys and random shit around the house. it's been a remarkable transformation honestly. she went from clear neglect and abuse victim to an attached-at-the-hip cuddly happy cat who won't let me out of her sight for a minute. sometimes when i move too suddenly tho, i can see her flinch painfully hard and i still get sad and try not to think about what she must've went through before coming to live with me.