Suspensions and permanent records aren't that big a deal and you could actually afford to get into more fist fights.

So much of the crap you saved you haven't touched in years. Throw it out or give it away.

You're never going to have a complete set of Pokemon cards and you would never use them if you did.

  • CyborgMarx [any, any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Your suspicions were correct, the liberals are lying and capitalism is ruining your life

    spoiler

    Also don't buy that Sam Harris book you teenage dork wtf is wrong with you slaps back of neck

  • boog [none/use name]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Finish a fucking degree. Save the pokemon cards. Just shut up and draw.

  • WittyProfileName2 [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Travel back in time to talk to myself at 14, hit the little bastard with this.

    "'sup dickhead, guess what? You're trans. Do something about it now instead of like a decade later."

    "Oh yeah, and that joke you're going to tell a friend (who incidentally identifies as non-binary but hasn't came out yet) about sexually identifying as a roomba, neither funny nor original."

    • FemboyStalin [she/her,any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      This is the one for me. "You're bi and you're trans, it's not that complicated just stop listening to your parents" also "don't say those things about trans people, it won't make you not trans and they're not funny"

  • Coolkidbozzy [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    That relationship was awful and you're better off without it

    Care less about working and more about hobbies

    You're a liberal and every opinion you have is bad. Look at more leftist memes to learn communist theory by osmosis

    And then probably a list of rules that would have saved me from going to the ER or calling 911 every time I was an idiot/nearly died

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    In late stage capitalism, honest hard work is worth the work... but not for you. :capitalist-laugh:

    • Sea_Gull [they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      Oooh god that hits hard. I'm looking forward to finding out the new ways my labor will be siphoned out of me.

  • keepcarrot [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Do mech eng. Also sort out depression before going to uni. Also you're not listening.

    • Lussy [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      for me: don’t do mech eng. sort out your depression before going to uni. Also you’re not listening.

  • Ericthescruffy [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Oh gaaaaaawd...so many things.

    -It's ok to screw up a bit. You're a teenager. Your entire household isn't held up by you being the good little straight arrow.

    -Actually...they meant it when they said we're staying here this time. No more moving. You can make friends and actually stay close to them if you want, and the whole loner schtick is a bit cringe.

    -The issues you have with organized religion and god are actually byproducts of how capitalism has co-opted and used it, so fight the real enemy.

    -Your instinct to not join the military is correct, but also: fuck the troops.

    -All the nerd stuff is... fine...but it's not a substitute for a personality and it will leave you feeling hollow and empty when shit hits the fan.

    -People aren't lying or teasing when they say they find you attractive or that they're interested in you romantically/sexually.

    -On that note: also stop listening to basically anybody in your family about how to talk to women or how to do relationship shit in general. They're all fucking codependent as shit, out of date on gender roles, and the only worse model for you to try and emulate is romcoms.

    -Actually you've got a pretty damn good dad also....he's just struggling really hard with his own shit. You'll understand when you have a kid yourself. Try and connect with him more before the sickness takes him finally.

  • Sen_Jen [they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Do not become exposed to porn from an early age causing immeasurable damage to your maturity and understanding of sex.

    Do not skip an entire year of school because you're depressed. You missed out on so much and often just left because you were bored

    Don't talk to that cute girl in your philosophy tutorial. Just don't. It will result in the most awkward situation where you pretend to not see each other every day