So I came across the most pointless funny article (I guess you can call it that.) https://theday.co.uk/how-goblin-mode-is-taking-over-the-world-r3/
Should we adopt "vampire mode" instead? Yesterday, “goblin mode” was named the Oxford word of 2022. But one gothic expert suggests we should follow the example set by vampires instead.
Gee I wonder why a bootlicker thinks we should be more like blood sucking aristocrats? What the fuck even is a gothic expert?
But now one gothic expert says there is a simple problem: goblins. A mischievous, ugly creature resembling a dwarf. There are multiple types of goblin, from the Highland fuath to the French gobelin. are not good role models. “A goblin is seldom welcomed, even by its own kind,” writes academic Sam George. George is a lecturer at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK. She is an expert on gothic and vampire literature.
Right so they're not a sociologist. This should have been called 'Vampire nerd unsurprisingly thinks we should be more like vampires." Also, if goblins aren't welcomed then I fail to see how that's the fault of the gobin. Also thanks for telling us the definition of goblin, I'm sure the one person who has never heard of them appreciates that.
George has a different suggestion: "vampire mode". It sounds surprising. The world’s most famous vampire, Count Dracula, (The novel Dracula by Bram Stoker was first published in 1897. There have been numerous film and television adaptations.), travelled to England to drink the blood of innocent people. But in recent years, vampires have undergone a transformation. The sparkling Cullen family in the Twilight franchise refuse to kill humans. Unlike goblins, vampires in popular culture today aspire to be good, not evil. “The problem is that once you go goblin, it’s hard to go back,” says writer Rebecca Reid. “Before you know it, you’re in full recluse mode.” “It’s time we stopped languishing like goblins and started flourishing as newly born vampires,” adds George. The vampires of today’s teen fiction go to school, take part in sports and make friends. For social media users today, there is a choice to make: slobbing out and giving up like a goblin or sparkling outdoors post-lockdown like a vampire. Should we adopt vampire mode instead?
Stop trying to make vampire mode a thing, George. It's not going to happen.
I know, I know, this is a really pointless thing to dunk on but it got me in the funny bone. It reads like an Onion article 
A mischievous, ugly creature resembling a dwarf. Goblins are not good role models. “A goblin is seldom welcomed, even by its own kind,”
Yeah that's literally the point of the term dipshit. When I eat two sleeves of oreos and lie in the crumbs playing tower defense on my phone for seven hours, it's not supposed to be a good role model.
Unlike goblins, vampires in popular culture today aspire to be good, not evil.
I aspire to eat doritos and masturbate, fuck off you sparkly bitch
“A goblin is seldom welcomed, even by its own kind,” writes academic Sam George
Imagine being a fuckin professor and writing some dumb shit like this
Reminded of her Paradise Lost book where I think in the first or second chapter Lestat fantasizes he's talking to the pope about how great capitalism is and how dazzling it is to go into a drug store and marvel at all the products. Looking back there's also a lot of pedophilic characters? Or at least two or three that I can think of off the top of my head.
I probably read the entirety of the series a few times over in my youth, but I did that with most of my books before the advent of smart phones. Never got around to Lestat discovering Atlantis or whatever Rice wrote shortly before she kicked the bucket. I tried reading the Mayfair Witches but it was just so fucking boring I only got through the first one.
Were vampires made sexy to try and undermine the point of vampires being a monster that sucks the lifeblood out of the working class?
Vampires have always been sexy because they were originally not intended as a class critique, but reflected the usual British fear of sexuality, in particular the fear of older lesbians and immigrants with a robust and healthy set of teeth seducing England's daughters.
I think movie vampires were always sexy villains and the Twilight franchise just amplified it.
Excuse me professor, I am a Pathfinder goblin
I like to sing songs, eat salty food and start fires
GTFOH with that vampire nonsense
Old academic neither understands or approves of youth culture, more at 11
"It’s time we stopped languishing like goblins and started flourishing as newly born vampires,” adds George. The vampires of today’s teen fiction go to school, take part in sports and make friends.
Look, black ribboners are a pillar of the undead community. You'll never find a more, haha, lively group. But goblins? Goblins are the clacks. If it's a choice between one or the other...
Pointless? Yes.
Exactly the kind of mundane shit I love to see dunked on? Also yes.
What if we had werewolf mode and murdered a bunch of bunch of rich people whenever there's a full moon.
Also, I just realized we have no furry emotes here and I demand to speak to a manager.
Quick someone write a goblin book in the style of Twilight so that the Gothic expert is ok with goblin mode.
Yo FUCK vampires. FUCK em. Goblins are cool. The world is snobs vs slobs and this perfumed fuckface vampire lover is telling me to be a snob when I know myself to be a FUCKING SLOB
I HATE VAMPIRES, IM TAPING THE GOBLIN MODE SWITCH DOWN RIGHT NOW
...academic Anne Rice. Rice is a lecturer at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK. She is an expert on gothic and vampire literature.
Br*tish "intellectual" thinks French aristocratic blood drinking parasites are preferable to goblins, typical
