i think the general consensus is that its commonly understood as a nongendered term so feel free to use it that way- but if someone tells you it personally makes them uncomfortable you just don't use it on them in particular, yknow. 🤔
i think it can be neutral, but, a question i've seen to test that is: imagine asking straight guys "how many dudes have you slept with?" and catching the response lol
I would say that the British use of mate doesn't really work for any sort of sexual partner tbh. No matter the genders involved that's just not a sentence that would ever feel "correct".
(Which is definitely in stark contrast to the way that a biologist would use the word, but hey.)
Struggle Session: Is "Dude" a gendered term?
i think the general consensus is that its commonly understood as a nongendered term so feel free to use it that way- but if someone tells you it personally makes them uncomfortable you just don't use it on them in particular, yknow. 🤔
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i think it can be neutral, but, a question i've seen to test that is: imagine asking straight guys "how many dudes have you slept with?" and catching the response lol
This isn't even close to a struggle session, because it has the same answer as all other such wordplay.
That is : variously yes or no, depending on who is being addressed and how down they are.
Better question: Why do Americans use dude so much when the English version "mate" not only sounds better but is also implicitly gender neutral
to use @kelptea 's test: ask a straight man how many mate's he's slept with...
I would say that the British use of mate doesn't really work for any sort of sexual partner tbh. No matter the genders involved that's just not a sentence that would ever feel "correct".
(Which is definitely in stark contrast to the way that a biologist would use the word, but hey.)