CW: Alcoholism, binge drinking, blackouts
spoiler
I've spoken before about having a parent with serious alcoholism problems before here somewhere, but I personally relapsed after trying to get sober for awhile and feel really shitty about it. I got wasted early in the day, and then went through shit I had to get done at home drunk around 3-ish throughout the day and just kept taking a gluggluglugglug kind of swig from an 80 proof bottle after each chore, and eventually ended up going to bed early, then woke up completely confused and thinking I was in my back yard instead of my bedroom for some reason and it took me like 10 minutes to figure out where I was while being scared and pathetic and alone. I don't want to fucking be like this anymore. I've been to AA meetings before and was really offput by the weird pseudo-Calvinist shit and would appreciate some kind of secular and preferable left-friendly options for getting sober because I'm in really bad shape mentally right now and don't really have any faith in the typical avenues where people go to when they want to get help.
I think the act of "quitting" is probably the hardest, but the "maintenance" phase of being sober is probably the trickiest (speaking as someone who can't seem to finally get cigarettes out of my life). I wish you the best of luck, and know that there's people here and in these groups that want you to succeed and will help you if asked.
I definitely agree with you about the struggle of "maintenance". Most addictions leave cravings, and also make it easier for any kind of use to end up back where you started.