Permanently Deleted

  • Bread_In_Baltimore [he/him]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    I try not to think about it. Between the cringe and the genuinely hard times it makes me want to die.

    Edit: I commented without reading the body lol. Academically my school was less shitty than most. Some nearby teachers had a strike so my teachers seemed hype to talk about the labor movement in history class. Also had a this nerd teacher in high school that taught us how the IMF and World Bank fuck over poor countries and said if you go to college a lot of your friends will probably protest them once they find out what they really do. I can't really comment on anything earlier than high school, I guess all that stuff was normal.

  • Jorick [he/him]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    It's like that everywhere, but here it goes : it was fucking horrible and left me scarred. I have nothing but pure, burning hatred for all of this.

    I wasn't particular as a little kid, perhaps a bit socially "late", and a bit above average on some subjects. I worked hard to impress my professors in elementary school, and junior high school as well. But things got really fucking horrible as soon as I entered high school because of the bullying. If you happen to be weird, to be short and physically weak, you'll get picked on. I'm not saying this wouldn't have happened if x or y; but the administration did nothing. I spent years getting bullied, and no one fucking acted about it. My grades tanked of course, and it made me feel like fucking shit for not living up to the expectations. How many fucking times did I hear that I was wasted potential, some times said less diplomatically than others ? Now, here comes the "even worse" part, because there are systemic issues. I loved biology. I was a fucking nerd, and I loved living things. I loved chemistry, space; in fact, everything that wasn't maths. Yet, nothing could be done apparently without that last fucking subject, so my grades got absolutely catastrophic for a science pupil. My parents, who aren't rich mind you, spent so much money to hire a professor to help me get better at maths, that's how bad it was. This circus kept going on until I left high school, I barely managed to get the university entrance diploma through a second session. As the results came in, I had never, ever panicked before something. My heart was beating as if I was sprinting, and I was sweating so much my clothes were dripping with this disgusting stuff. This is fucking normal. This is how an excellent school system prepares students to be intelligent and curious human beings, and not simply some obedient bots made to work until their deaths under capitalism. But it doesn't end there just yet. With this diploma, I was free to march towards my doom. Of course, I applied for the biology degree, and instantly fell in love with cellular and micro-biology. Problem : there it fucking was again. Mathematics, and this time, there was nothing I could do, I was like a fish outside of the pond, it actually managed to make me feel like a dumb piece of shit, regardless of my performances in other subjects. And that's where my dreams died; I went to study english for the next few years, and here I am today, in the last year for a degree I chose out of convenience rather than through passion.

    Literally, all I wanted was to study biology to help my fellow man, I never wanted to be bullied, I never wanted to become depressed for more than 10 years, I never wanted to grow to be a social outcast, I never wanted to become so filled with hate that I sometimes dream of retribution for all these years, and I never wanted my dreams to be crushed. I genuinely believe in meritocracy, and helping others. Living, and working a good life to create a better world, and instead, I got this. Ironically, now I know that even if I managed to go for my dream job, I'd have served a corporation; and would've been miserable, without knowing exactly why. Almost works out in the end, ironically. Still, I have panic attacks some days, and nightmares about this shit; no matter how absolutely devoid of meaning it actually is. But no matter, the system is fine apparently, so fuck all of us I guess.

      • Jorick [he/him]
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        4 years ago

        Could be far worse. I have dropped out for like a year, then re-enlisted to finish my degree (dropped out between semesters). But even then, the economy is dead, there's nothing I can do, reatistically speaking, to get a job that isn't trash, and pays decently. So I might try to enlist for a master's degree afterwards, but the requirements are so high that I'm fairly certain my past as a bad student will lock this opportunity away from me. But honestly, there's still hope for me, no matter what happened, all that matters is the end result, and I perfectly know what I don't want to do until I die; and so do you.

    • Mardoniush [she/her]
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      4 years ago

      The way we teach Arithmatic is almost useless and actively harms scientific fields IMO. A certain amount of literacy is needed, of course, but that's more knowing what tests to use and if your results are making sense.

      The number of Mathmaticians I know who can't use the Chain rule to solve a Calculus Problem but are busy exploring the intersection of Bayesian Statistics and Godels theorem is extensive. But they were gently waved through once a math teacher recognised their talent which doesn't happen in the 2nd rank universities.

      • Jorick [he/him]
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        4 years ago

        Dunno how (bad) it is in the USA, but my case is related to the educational system in France. We follow a super rigid tradition instead of opting for separate classes like in other civilized countries, which means inevitably that students who are bad in one subjects will inevitably be hampered if that subject is part of the larger "package".

        Anyway, you're right, and I can only hope for a revolution in education, no child deserves to have their dreams crushed.

        • Mardoniush [she/her]
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          4 years ago

          I'm from Australia, so university at least is similar in that many subjects are set in the course you do. If you're bad at Maths in high school bridging courses and free tutoring is offered for the "hard" sciences in University, at least.

          Obviously there's minimum levels of competency at Maths you need to actually do the work. You need stats in Genomics and Molecular Bio, you need hardcore calculus in Astrophysics and there's no real avoiding that because it's an integral part of the day to day work.

          But they're not doing a good job of teaching it, and outside of Physical Chemistry and Physics there are usually fields where those weak in maths can go and still contribute significantly, even if it ends up being Admin or Science Communication.

  • WhatAnOddUsername [any]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    I'm from a small town in BC, Canada, and I would have been in public school from approximately 1995 to 2009 (beginning of kindergarten to end of Grade 12).

    I'll write some random memories in point form, in case anyone's interested:

    • I remember the teachers being mostly okay. Some were better than others, but I don't remember any teachers being particularly cruel or abusive. Maybe one high school science teacher was a bit of a bully to one student, but she eased off after a while.

    • My teachers would definitely fall under the category of "liberal", certainly by the standards of Chapo. Most of them are retired and posting about how Americans need to #Vote. I think there were a few that were probably further left, such as one of my high school librarians, the art teacher, and the history teacher.

    • Having said that, I think my math teacher would be considered a bit reactionary -- not in the sense of being politically right-wing necessarily, but he thought that students were coddled and always complained that we were living in a "marshmallow world". I didn't think of him as reactionary at the time -- we liked him, and we just thought of him as a funny cantankerous old guy. We even voted for him to give our graduation speech, and we knew he would bring up the phrase "marshmallow world". I remember when a student brought a skateboard into class, the teacher made the student put it by the teacher's desk -- then, while we were working on our in-class assignment, the teacher took the skateboard out into the hallway. We heard some rolling, followed by a loud thud.

    • More memories are coming back and I'm realizing how different the "pre-woke" era was. In one math class, close to graduation or prom or something, there was a row of girls who skipped math class to get hair or dresses or something. They were fashionably skinny girls, and the math teacher commented "Hmm, looks like the 'pencil kids' are gone." In retrospect, that's a bit of a dickish thing for an older male teacher to say about female students, but it just garnered a light chuckle at the time.

    • I would say there was some sense of solidarity within my cohort. More than a few of us had been in basically the same classes from kindergarten through grade 12, going to the same elementary school and high school.

    • The teachers tended to be older, e.g. the younger ones were in their 40s, and most were in their 50s and maybe 60s. They had been teachers for years, and they knew the community fairly well, so most of them would know who we were even before we attended one of their classes. They would have taught some of our older siblings, and they knew that we all basically knew each other. Even the substitute teachers were usually people we had known for a while as well. I can think of a few cases where a new teacher came along -- for example, our Grade 12 English teacher -- and our class just couldn't take them seriously for the entire semester, because they weren't someone we knew and we didn't hit it off with them right away.

    • We didn't have sex ed, but we had "Personal Planning", which included e.g. sex ed, career education, etc. Our personal planning teacher joked that, if he were to teach sex-ed himself, he'd just say "Men are pigs", but for whatever it's worth, the speakers he brought into actually teach us about birth control and barrier methods were a lot better. I remember one day in his class, as part of the "career planning" segment of the course, he showed us a John Stossel video. He said "Take it with a grain of salt, because it's very 'American', but there's some good stuff in there too."

    • I remember in History and English classes, the tone from the teachers was less "X is good!" and "X is bad!" and more about considering "different points of view". I realize this can still be used to nudge students in one direction or the other, but I'm just describing it as I remember it. For example, in history class, we talked about a famous Canadian flying ace (Billy Bishop?) and how, although he was celebrated as one of the most successful flying aces, further research showed that his record may not have been as impressive as originally claimed. Our teacher posed the question to the class: Should history books be rewritten to address the newly discovered facts, or should Billy Bishop's legacy be preserved? It seemed obvious to me that history books should do their best to portray the truth, so naturally I came down on the side that the history books should be rewritten based on the most accurate information available. But most of the students in the class disagreed and thought that preserving some guy's heroic legacy was more important. So that was interesting. The teacher said something like "So, according to this class, the history books should stay as they are," then turned to me and said "... but perhaps with a little asterisk next to his name." The same teacher also took a quick poll of the class with regards to Sikh members of the RCMP being allowed to wear turbans instead of the traditional uniform. Most of us answered that yes, they should be allowed to wear turbans. The teacher said "Interesting how times change -- a few years ago, I took the same poll, and the class was livid that they shouldn't be allowed to change the uniform."

    • The history teacher also gave a famous lecture about the propaganda used during World War I -- for example, how it was claimed that Germans were parading around with impaled babies on their bayonets. I remember him expressing regret that the semesters were so short that we didn't have time to talk in depth about the Holocaust in our grade 11(?) history class.

    • All I remember about Canadian history class is the fact that I don't remember anything about it, because the trading of beaver furs was not interesting to me. For whatever it's worth, I also vaguely remember my teachers talking about residential schools, as well as the use of Chinese immigrant labour to build the railroad, and there was a whole bunch of stuff about indigenous history that I didn't pay attention to at the time. I'm sure it was good stuff, and I can't fault the school for not trying to teach us about the many atrocities in Canadian history -- I just wasn't paying attention at the time.

    • In retrospect, I was definitely a nerd. I didn't get bullied much, possibly because I was too mellow (it's no fun to bully someone who doesn't overreact in an entertaining manner). However, my brother (who is on the autism spectrum) was targeted by some kids who would, e.g. follow him on his walk home just because they knew it bothered him, or would whisper at him in class quietly enough that the teacher couldn't hear them, causing my brother to get in trouble when he reacted angrily. My brother talked to my parents and to the school about it, but it was the kind of bullying that a sufficiently stupid or inexperienced teacher is unable to detect. Eventually my brother punched one of them in the face, and got suspended for it. My parents wrote a letter to the school along the lines of "Look, he shouldn't have hit them, but he's reported this bullying repeatedly and the school hasn't done anything about it, so the school has some responsibility in letting the bullying escalate to this level."

    • I got along very well with the art teacher, who was also a friend of my mom's (my mom used to be an art teacher and occasionally worked as a substitute teacher). His attitude towards any art project was that he'd rather we take a risk and accidentally mess up the project, than be afraid to take a risk at all. He was also willing to adjust the curriculum on the fly if a student was really excited about working on a specific project that wasn't in the course outline. I remember him telling a story about a student in one of his classes who often fell asleep in class. He asked the student about it, and the student mentioned that he was working part-time to support the family because one of his parents was unable to work, or something like that. The teacher said that, if that's the reason a student needs to sleep in his class, he's willing to let the student sleep in his class. Which seemed like an interesting attitude towards education -- some students have a chaotic life, and they need the school as a source of stability in their lives.

    • loudcolors [none/use name]
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      edit-2
      4 years ago

      I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but honestly that sounds really peaceful and almost cocoon-like. Not to say that my experience (00-13) was much different, but I feel like I've always imbued everything with a cosmic significance for as long as I can remember. It sounds nice to perceive your life in such a grounded, mellow way.

      • WhatAnOddUsername [any]
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        4 years ago

        I was definitely lucky to be in such a school and community. I think you could reasonably say that I was sheltered, and in many ways, I still am. But I think it was good that both my family and school were relatively peaceful and stable for me during my childhood, and it makes me really sad that school is a source of trauma and stress for people -- to me, part of the deep appeal of leftism is that I'd like everyone to grow up in such a peaceful environment, not just dummies like me who lucked out.

  • xxtrash [he/him]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Oh boy so in my last year of middle school (8th grade), everyone in the school had to do an assignment that I will remember until the day I die. The time frame was June, 2000.

    We all got a copy of the lyrics of "All Star" by Smash Mouth, and we had to do an analysis of the lyrics and break down what the song meant.

    I have... no idea why the hell we had to do this, let alone the whole school. It was like they ran out of stuff for us to do in the last few weeks before summer and needed to keep us busy.

    The best part about school was the "running start" program where I spent my last two years of high school earning my credits in community college instead. I went to easy classes two to three times a week, then spent the rest of the week playing Jak and Daxter. Best years of my life.

  • Mardoniush [she/her]
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    4 years ago

    Shit. Bullied pretty hard, did well-ish academically despite ADD by acing every test that came near and half-assing assignments to the bare minimum. Liked music, science, history. Was mediocre at math until I moved past Arithmatic into higher math and it all clicked.

    Had a great Anarchist Chem professor who taught us where the Anarchists Cookbook/Terrorists Handbook made errors, a Leftist Drama Teacher who unsuccessfully tried to make me like Brecht and started off my Opera Career/Hobby/Attempt at financial ruin. And a ML History Professor who was a practicing Archaeologist on his off time and also the Econ teacher. That was pretty based, though I didn't appreciate it as I should have at the time.

    I really didn't get my shit together till 2nd Year Uni.

  • buh [she/her]
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    4 years ago

    My high school years (US) were the late 2000s. It was okay I guess. Academically, I felt I was decently prepared for college in all areas except science. There were only a few science classes and they were mostly qualitative, while the science classes I had to take in college (I studied computer engineering) were mostly qualitative.

    As far as the social environment goes, it was also okay, despite me not being one of the popular kids. I found the stereotype in media of jocks being bullies to be false, they were mostly the same as any other group, just more athletic. IME the bullies/assholes were the kids from rich families, and they were usually not that popular outside their small group.

    The teachers were more or less the same as teachers in any other part of America, some cared about doing a good job, some didn't, most were somewhere in between. Politically, most seemed to be pretty standard libs/conservatives, but most avoided talking about politics. The two I remember that didn't were both libertarians, one was the German language teacher, and one was the economics teacher. I didn't think of him this way at the time, but the German teacher was pretty much the stereotypical neckbeard; he loved things like retro video games and anime, had a goatee, wore fedoras, and had pictures of himself wearing trenchcoats on his myspace profile (which I only knew about because he shared it with some students for some reason 🤔). The econ teacher was an old guy and had some high-ish level position in American Express before becoming a teacher. I think he was only a teacher because he got genuine joy from spreading capitalist propaganda.

    • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
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      4 years ago

      pictures of himself wearing trenchcoat on his Myspace profile

      Wow it truly was a different era.

  • stevaloo [they/them, she/her]
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    4 years ago

    new game+ highschool is significantly higher than DOTP on my scale of power fantasies, if that's any indication

    • BeamBrain [he/him]
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      4 years ago

      That's not surprising, most of my power fantasies don't involve dioctyl terephthalate (bis(2-ethylhexyl) benzene-1,4-dicarboxylate either