As a transwoman, I understand that feeling of acceptedness within the Chapo community and I can imagine the feeling of betrayal that they must be feeling. I joined about a year ago at one of the lowest and most pivotal points of my life and the community has helped me to grow as a person and to really turn my life around for the better. I'm personally trying my best to provide the same safe and protecting community for trans and non-binary people here that I saw in the subreddit that allowed me to blossom so heavily. However, a blank slate means you let go of the things that happened in the past and we all move forward on this new platform, where I have taken steps to ensure that trans people are more protected so situations like this do not arise. Spamming the Lemmy does not constitute a move forward.

Marie stated in one comment that, "I was, unfortunately, misgendered by someone on the discord (and had been multiple times by that point) and so I expressed my feelings that not enough was being done to protect trans comrades." If they looked at the trans and non-binary dedicated community, they would see several points where I have provided updates on the site-wide pronoun tags (entirely separate from community flair, I might add) that are coming down the pipeline of updates, which I strongly pushed for and had the pleasure of discussing and brainstorming with the developers to make a reality. I personally didn't think the Discord had the capability to fully prevent misgendering because it would require someone to click on another person's profile and self-investigate? So how could that be improved moving away from the Discord? On the Lemmy, pronouns will be immediately next to your name site-wide leaving no excuse for misgendering going forward.

Someone else stated that "it’s kind of depressing that lgbt spaces here are empty" and "it raises the issue of what the priority is in affirmatively making sure there is a space here in chapo for our queer comrades to have a home, vs being a home for cis comrades to affirm their own perceived tolerance." It's hard to pull people to Lemmy when there is no guarantee I can prevent things like misgendering otherwise I personally would be trying to pull all of my trans and non-binary comrades here. It's actually one of my biggest concerns and I have addressed this concern in our space. I'm hesitant to really do anything in the trans and non-binary community until I can guarantee that no one will face dysphoria on that front.

I have discussed at-length with other moderators that I (and I can't stress this enough) DO NOT want cis people on my moderator board, as our people do not need cis people dictating the manner in which we can converse with each other about our trials and tribulations. Marie stated they want "reform" and for the "mod team to not be shit"? Here I fucking am. They want mods to be "held accountable for their actions"? I will absolutely swing for the fences for our people. "Will this ever happen?" they asked. Yes.

UPDATE:

I have tried everything possible to make amends. Yesterday on the statement I made allowing for any good faith grievances to be discussed, I received countless comments telling me to “talk to the Shorks”. Getting specific names of people in the Shork server was no easy feat, but I did it. I ended up reaching out to Shorkena, one of the moderators on the Shork server that Marie was kind enough to put me in contact with, and tried to pull together a group chat to have a good faith conversation about how to move forward. I tried everything to reach some sort of agreement. They’ve been spamming demanding that their voices and grievances be heard since we opened the Lemmy and I have gaven them multiple spaces space to freely do that and openly discuss grievances and how to move forward in good faith and they shuttered.

I gave them every opportunity I could possibly think to give and they squandered it and even went as far as mocking me within their own server and digging up drunken shitpost Tweets to openly mock me about instead of discussing their actual grievances with me, which you can see in the Imgur directory below.

I remained hopeful throughout all of this that I could pull something off and end all of this, but I have concluded there is no good faith attempt here anymore.

For all of those interested, here is every interaction I’ve had with any of them involved: https://imgur.com/a/rfN6joQ

REMOVED IMGUR ALBUM SO THOSE INVOLVED WILL NOT BE DOXXED.

  • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
    arrow-down
    40
    ·
    4 years ago

    ngl I'm to lazy to address the rest of this apologia. People can read the thread where we defend all of out claims and come to their own conclusions.

    • proonjooce [he/him]
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      4 years ago

      So someone finally takes the time to read the wall of text you keep posting, responds to each point and now you say you're too lazy to address it. You're making it literally impossible for there to be a positive resolution to this.

      • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
        arrow-down
        24
        ·
        4 years ago

        yes. I don't care anymore. I've been at this shit for weeks and clearly noone cares and yall are going to make us reexplain shit over and over again without trying to actually fix anything. I just tring to bring things to attention and I get dogpiled and bullied so I'm plugging out because I'm deadass tired. cry about it.

        • proonjooce [he/him]
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          4 years ago

          It seems to me though like people are trying their hardest to hear your issues and respond and fix them in whatever way they can but you dont really seem interested in that and just sort of like holding on to this drama for whatever reason.

          • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
            arrow-down
            15
            ·
            4 years ago

            It seems to me though like people are trying their hardest to hear your issues

            my post about it is getting mass downvoted. we thought beatnik was "trying to hear us out" when we talked with him for 3 days straight but he just ignored us and smeared our names. I'm tired of this shit and I'm tired of having to constantly defend myself to a community that's clearly hostile towards me. so I'm fucking off to somewhere else because you clearly don't want the mass of disaffected comrades to come back to the community.

            • proonjooce [he/him]
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              4 years ago

              I guess my point is I cant imagine when it will ever get to the point where you're like 'ok cool this is sorted let's move on'. I'm probs out my depth and dont mean to be hostile at all, just like I'm not sure what more ppl can be doing that they aren't now, theres a lot of stuff in this thread addressing everything you've spoke about. Like I feel if you just sort of stop making this an issue then it wont be one.

              • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
                arrow-down
                14
                ·
                4 years ago

                Like I feel if you just sort of stop making this an issue then it wont be one.

                That would be fine if it was just me and not a whole community of trans people that didn't feel comfortable returning to this space. And if the response to our concerns since day one wasn't enough has been done, now stop complaining about it.

                • proonjooce [he/him]
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  But it essentially seems like what you're saying is 'it will never be enough'. You see why that's not good right?

                  Pretty sure one here wants to exclude anyone or for any community of people (except chuds) to feel unwelcome.

                  • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
                    arrow-down
                    18
                    ·
                    4 years ago

                    If it's functionally impossible to make an affirmative space for trans people here then that's what it is. I'm tired of arguing. Shork and the gulag have been good enough. Yall clearly don't want to put in the work because I guess it would be too difficult. I'm glad the conversation has finally moved from we're lying assholes to we want too much. That's probably the best we're gonna get.

                    • proonjooce [he/him]
                      arrow-down
                      2
                      ·
                      4 years ago

                      None of that is even slightly related to what I have been saying in any way.

                      • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
                        arrow-down
                        11
                        ·
                        4 years ago

                        ‘it will never be enough’

                        I'm just asking for the mods to take some steps that aren't just liberal aesthetics. Like discord isn't an "ark' or whatever anymore so they could easily unban us there. Something. But the continue to actively alienate us. We're tired of having to redefend ourselves over and over for like shreds of dignigty. Malcom X was right not to want to fight for integration and I can see that very clearly in this particular moment.

                        • proonjooce [he/him]
                          arrow-down
                          1
                          ·
                          4 years ago

                          Yeah that sounds fair, I agree they shouldn't be banning people and just let it play out so if that's happening then it shouldn't be.

                          Though personally I 100% don't care about discord and only use this place (34 year old boomer). Maybe it sounds lame but i'm sure if you guys just start posting on here and leave that shit behind it will be cool and fun (i might be entirely wrong and missing the point).

                          • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
                            arrow-down
                            10
                            ·
                            4 years ago

                            The same people that banned us on the discord are moderators on here and have been carrying out the same patterned of behavior that lead to us being wrongfully banned in the first place. The behavior actually got worse here than in the discord so like the only option is to just not participate here. Which at this point most people are cool with. I brought the issues up today because I keep forgetting the moderation doesn't actually care about us, and I wanted to start the steps to remedying the situation maybe but the got right on their bullshit from the jump so I guess it won't be happening.

                            Like honestly if they were engaging in good faith they could have left my first thread unlocked instead of locking in and stickying a new thread so that they had complete control over the narrative. But it seems all they care about is how they are perceived instead of the health of their community.

    • DIsco_Jedi [none/use name]
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      4 years ago

      This is bullshit, don't show up asking to have the grievances addressed and when somebody finally engages in good faith then act you're above it and too good, and can't be fucked to work for it. That ain't good faith engagement.