I fucking hate tankies and so should you, these are the steps to wreck them in internet battle.

Step 1: Mention Star Trek. Tankies love this shit. It's one of the only things that give them joy. They call it "communism in space". Trust me, they go feral for this shit.

Step 2: Ask them if they like the original stuff. They should say yes, because it's pre-9/11 Trek and that makes it valid.

Step 3: Put on some Jojo music because this is when they begin to lose.

Step 4: Tell them that the original Star Trek film was actually the first movie tie-in with McDonald's Happy Meal. This is the ultimate sin because Mickey D's and their "happy" meal is everything all factions of tankies hate. This would retcon Star Trek as unbased and capitalist cringe.

Step 5: The targeted tankie gets depressed that they can no longer have TTG play in the background in their life. They get so depressed, they stop bullying you online.

Step 6: This is how you stop tankies online

  • ennemi [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    many bothans died to bring us this information

    • GottiGoFast [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Remember the scene at the end of Star Wars: Rouge One? It was EXACTLY like that. My cock and balls still gets shivers from the bloodshed I witnessed.

      Except I was Darth Vader but the hero version. Also the tankies were the lame guys in the silly white helmets, but not the heroes. AOC is Princess Leia in this >heart:emoji<

    • GottiGoFast [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      Jokes on you tankie loser, the avian body only has so much hydration and you would have already used all of it for commie tears.

      No piss for you because you CAN'T.

  • Mindfury [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    a lot of this goes over my head, so i'm gathering the following:

    1. play giorno theme
    2. hexbear posters spontaneously combust when the piano bit hits
  • zifnab25 [he/him, any]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Adjusting a big dial labeled "JoJo Theme Song" and looking behind me to gauge the approval of the audience.

    • Shinji_Ikari [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Dramatically putting my hand to my ear to ensure the audience knows I'm looking for their approval