Here is the story of how I fucked up my back to the point that it's never been the same since: I was bent over blow drying my hair so my stick-straight hair could have some pathetic body to it, and I sneezed. I felt a pain shoot from my back all the way down my left leg, and life has never been the same since. Hilariously stupid, but terrible consequences.
Yeah back problems really suck bad. I've been dealing with them all my life, surgery and everything. For everyone reading this with back pain or anything, I've found this exercise can really help relieve some pain.
Tricking all the terrible meatheads in highschool that had no where near the upper body strength for their steroid enhanced physique to do this exercise and faceplant while I managed to do it perfectly despite being half their size is one of the only highlights of my highschool "career" tbh. Yes I was a terrible person, how could you tell?
Was drunk and fell down a set of concrete stairs, somehow wasn't injured at all, dusted myself off, took a few steps forward and tripped over. Faceplanted straight onto the pavement, cutting my head open, fucking my nose up and giving myself a concussion.
Raw "I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick ass" energy here pheweee, hooo child
I still attribute the second to your strong-ass head. Honestly though - 'I've only broken two bones and neither of them were mine' is the kind of shit I'd like on my tombstone.
Ended long term toxic relationship, rough place in life, bought brand new $1200 guitar, wore antiperspirant, contains aluminum zirconium, aluminum zirconium reacts with fresh nitrocellulose finish, dissolving it like hot water on ice cream, punch wall, hit stud, break hand
I've also dived into a shitty yard hammock on several occasions with a little too much aqua vitae in my tumtum and been swiftly rejected exactly in the way you'd expect
I almost died from being too horny. I had a new bad dragon that I finally managed to stretch to the point where I could actually use it. I decided the best place would be the shower since the suction cup could be mounted on the wall and the lube wouldn't make a mess since any excess could just run down the drain. Those lubes are really effective and really slippery (especially when they're on wet tile). I backed up on it harder than I thought and instead of it bending and going slow it just rocketed in to the base. I still don't know if I passed out from that feeling, if it was the hot water making me feel light headed and I fainted, or if I slipped and just forgot die to the head injury. All I know is I woke up a few minutes later on the floor bleeding from beside my eye. Luckily I smacked my head on the shower seat and not the stone ledge but years later I've still got a scar there. Would have really sucked to die like that since all my other toys were out, I was still living with my parents, and I was still in the closet.
The price that comes from being horny. Do not violate your volcel pledge
I tried riding my bike in small circles with my eyes closed and broke my collar bone.
I've got a scar on one of my fingers because I decided to play, 'catch the scalpel', during a dissection.
Ever do that trick where you hold the match with the head on the spark paper with one finger and flick it hard with the index finger of your other hand so it lights and spins across the room cartwheeling? Turns out if you do that wrong the match head embeds, burning, into the fleshy part of your finger.
Okay this thread is actually reminding me of how many ways I have injured myself doing very stupid things.
I wasn't injured but i plunged into sewage with a shopping cart when i was sixteen. It was like 3 am on a February and i had to take a train home too. My grandma said she liked my swamp perfume
I was making weed blondies one time and I dropped the spoon into the pot of cannabutter/brown sugar mixture, and since I was already high af I reached in to grab it. It didn't click in my head that I was dipping my fingers into an extremely sticky boiling substance until I had already done it and felt my flesh burning lmao. Then, in another bout of idiocy I put the cold water on in the sink and rinsed it off. The pain plus the rapid change in temperature from boiling to cold made me pass out lmao
Played a game with a friend where we spun in circles until we were too dizzy to walk and then rode a bike. I slammed my solar plexus into the end of the handlebar almost immediately.
Worked at a farm-to-fork restaurant in the north DFW area - bunch of fart sniffing types. We had a 'grow room' that served as the side entrance, in it each employee had their own plant & there were carts full of fresh grapefruit, lemon, limes, so that we could juice/garnish fresh.
Setting this up, as the side entrance, was there was a parking spot directly outside of the door, with your standard sidewalk L-shape up to the building.
One night a co-worker gets off, and my manager & I decide we are going to throw limes at him while he walks to his car as a bit.
So we're throwing lemons and limes at this guy, he's getting farther away so we're really having to put some zip on it. Back to my baseball outfield days, I tell my manager "open the door and hold it", and decide to do a two-hop throw (for those not familiar with baseball, a cricket pitch step-up), and LAUNCH this fucking lime at my co-worker.
At the exact moment my last foot came down, my body outstretched, my foot decides to come down at the exact V-portion of the sidewalks meeting, my foot at a downward angle & I toe-fuck the parking spot. But that wasn't the injury. The injury was all the weight and velocity I put behind that throw paired with the unfortunate foot landing served as a catapult forward as I landed chest first in a parking spot bumper (idk what to call them).
Cracked sternum, a bump on my shin that's still there 5 years later, from trying to throw a lime 40 yards.
Is that what my brothers call a crow-hop throw? (All my sports knowledge comes from being the sister of athletes.)
You have no idea how funny it is to me whenever I randomly come up with some kind of sports fact 😂
When I was 14 I was practicing a headstand while I had an erection. I fell over and ended up stubbing my dick on the floor. Hilarious now, but that was one of the most painful memories of being a dumb teenager
Had to get 3 stitches on my thumb because I ordered an Opinel knife and within 5 seconds of opening it I tried to cut the plastic cover off of a yard stake and folded it straight down onto my finger. Weirdly enough it didn't ever hurt despite splitting part of it open.
Weirdly enough it didn’t ever hurt despite splitting part of it open.
Yeah, that happens with sharp blades. What hurts is when your skin tears. A clean slice doesn't feel like anything until you notice the blood.
Or if you manage to cut deep enough that the muscles are cut, that can take months to recover from and hurts real bad
Thankfully I don't have firsthand experience on that one. Wasn't actually sure how that felt.
I've had that after surgery, it's really bad when they cut straight though the muscle and literally staple you back together
Oh yeah, I got one of those too and didn't know you're supposed to rotate the metal bit round to lock it in place.
Fortunately managed not to injure myself finding out.
Wow I didn’t know about the metal bit until right now.... I mean I’ve only had it for like 3 weeks and haven’t really cut anything since but damn I feel stupid
If it makes you feel any less stupid, I think it took me longer than 3 weeks to figure out!
They are handy little pocket knives though.
