Remember, EM POC only!
This message is to my EM POC comrades: Angel loves all of you.
Especially as of late, I have truly been feeling like this community has worked wonders in keeping me stable when it comes to handling the massive jar of mayo that this site can be sometimes.
How are you all?
reading the origins of American sayings: aaaaaah it goes back white people doing something awful okay
Every single day I am reminded that literally everything in america goes back to white people being racist if you go back far enough
Am I the only person who finds it a little weird when white people start calling other white people cracker (half this site)? Like we can't even be racist to white people without them stealing that too smh
its their way of jacking off about how they are the good enlightened whites. I fucking hate it, its always the people who do the least self crit too, that do it the most, and its more then half the site.
Yeeees, it's like a competition to them, feels really performative
Oh yes. Its cringe and weird af
They call each other cracker and tell eachother to go back to Europe and shit, it feels like they're getting the satisfaction of being racist but without the shame of an unacceptable target
If not for this comm I wouldn't be on the fediverse as a whole anymore tbh. White leftists do a phenomenal job at reminding me how little daylight exists between them and their full-fascist settler brethren
EDIT: I'm half tempted to figure out how to set up an instance of my own specifically for Black and Brown folk. Call it 'The Cookout', and have a bit of banning posters who express whiteness with either "invitation rescinded" or "was never invited to the cookout" as their ban message
Iirc there is a mastodon instance specifically for black people so I think something like that for Lemmy could definitely work!
I don't use Twitter or its clones because I prefer message board style formats so I'd enjoy that
White leftists do a phenomenal job at reminding me how little daylight exists between them and their full-fascist settler brethren
Word. I have accounts on other fediverse instances and I never fucking use them for that reason, they're not all that different from reddit. Hexbear at large is the only place that seems decent and if it didn't have this comm I don't know that I'd want to be on this site either.
If you did make a Cookout I'd join
Hi! Comrades! I'm from somewhere in Southeast Asia. I just picked up drawing as a hobby recently because I've got more free time from work after those crazy OT periods, still... no overtime means no overtime pay for me, so I'm kinda struggling with money issue now, so I have to use some of my savings to pay bills 😕. Factory job sucks. And wow, can't believe I've been on this instance for 1 year already.
everything sucks so fucking much, everything is so fucking pointless, nothing ever gets better white people will never get better, they will always just try to hurt you for fun.
they dont want to get better, they never will, they take pleasure from hurting people. all they want to do is hurt black people. nothing will ever fucking get better.
I AM ONCE AGAIN ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO JOIN EMPOCHA THE ELEMENT HEXBEAR EM POC CHAT ROOM. COME CHAT!!!!
My long term relationship that we both thought was for life is imploding right now, and it’s not even because of anything new and recent, it’s because we finally figured out some unhealthy dynamics got set years ago when we were in worse situations in life and dealing with crises and now that we’re looking at it it’s just unbearable. A lot is my fault, some is their's, but in another way it's neither of our faults, it's just an unavoidable tragedy. It's so depressing to confront how we both were utterly set up to fail in this (or any) relationship by the combined forces of capitalism, systemic racism, and systemic patriarchy. I don't want this to sound like a cop-out, I don't want to say "oh my difficulties with emotions and relationships are not my fault because the systems did this to me and I bear no blame," I can see clearly (now, when it’s too late to prevent them) the mistakes I made. But it's incredibly frustrating and heartbreaking that when they were happening I couldn't have done anything else because of how I was malformed by all the trauma of living in the belly of a racist, murderous empire surrounded by toxic hateful racist monsters. At every step of the way we've been trying our very best (I've been doing therapy for years, and they tried but they just couldn't find a therapist who wasn’t a capitalist radfem shitlib that would gaslight them and do more harm than good), but at every step for years and years and years the traumas carved into us from early childhood through adulthood sabotaged our efforts. They ask, "why did you do X horrible thing when we needed you to do Z?" and when I examine it it's genuinely just because of how the racist fabric of America destroyed my family and destroyed me to the point that X was all I was capable of doing in those times of stress. I didn't get to have a safe environment in which to grow up healthily -- I had a fucking nightmare forced upon me when I was just a little kid and it broke me, just more subtly than it broke my other family members. But it broke me nonetheless. I ask them "why did you do Y when we needed you to do Z?" and when they examine it it's because of how abuse at the hands of the toxic patriarchical fabric of America starting from a very young age carved such deep liabilities and weaknesses into them that they couldn't be healthier. And then our traumas intersected in bad ways. If just one of us hadn't had our fatal weaknesses, we could have maybe helped the other. But with both of us having them, our attempts to help each other actually led us to fall into unhealthy dynamics instead and now the traumatic memories of those dynamics make it -- I think -- impossible to move forward and heal together.
Even with this understanding, even with these big breakthroughs, it may be too late. I think it very likely is even though we desperately want it to not be too late. They said "I don't want us to have to split up. It would be a horrible tragedy. It should be a simple choice: We love each other and didn't mean to do harm, now that we understand what went wrong and how the systems did this to us it should be obvious that we just stay together and fix things together. The reason it's not simple for me is that everything's been so traumatic I don't know if it's possible, healthy, or even ethical for us to try to stay together and fix things together."
And I get that, I really do. It’s not a cop-out, it’s true. So much traumatic shit has happened that I can't humanely and ethically ask them to stay. Asking is pointless anyway -- they already want to stay and make it better, it's just a question of whether that's even possible or healthy for them to try to do, or if too much harm has been done. It's not a decision to be made, it's a yes/no fact that has to be uncovered and then whatever that fact is, we’ll have to deal with it even if we hate it.CW bleak, self-harm, despondency, doomerism
I'm so tired of living in the aftermath of being broken by the system. I'm so tired of living with the harms still perpetuating, still ruining my life and destroying any chances I think I have at happiness. I’m tired of causing harm to the people I love — I want to give love, joy, safety, health, and nurturing to my loved ones but instead I’ve brought pain and suffering. I don't even want to fight back or strike against systemic oppression anymore because I’m so broken and exhausted. To keep going is too painful. Even if now I manage to fix some of the shit that was done to me, it will always have destroyed the most important relationship I’ve ever had and robbed us of our life together. I’ll always have to live in the aftermath of that loss, and the loss will never go away. Every moment I exist hurts too much already and it looks like it’s just going to get worse from here on out. I've been through loss and grief enough times before and I know that it doesn't really get better even with therapy, it just makes the next one worse and the next one after that even worse. I thought I'd escaped that cycle finally; now that I know I haven't, that I can't, that this path was set for me before I even hit puberty, I just want to sleep forever. Let me fucking rest. Life is torture and I don't get why people who say they love me want me to keep being tortured. I have to endure, for now, I have responsibilities and it’s uncertain how things will shake out. My beloved has asked me not to give up and so, on the off chance that somehow things work out, I have to keep going for now. But I see nothing but torment ahead and I resent the loved ones who need me to stay alive for making me suffer the torture of existence instead of finally finding the peace I so desperately need.
What a cruel, pointless life. It's inhumane to do this to people. It's inhumane to make kids deal with systemic trauma that just breaks them and turns them into broken adults. I wish my parents hadn't emigrated to America, but they couldn't have predicted what the global war on terror would have done. Maybe if they'd stayed in their birth country we'd have been killed by it anyway, though it’s enough on the periphery of the battlegrounds so far that maybe not. Sometimes I think maybe being killed by it would have been preferable to being trapped in this broken life I've lived anyway. I look at pictures of me when I was a kid before the cataclysmic harms were done to us, and I look at pictures of me after, and it's stark how visibly dead inside I've been since.
I hope reincarnation is real. This life has been a tragedy and a waste. I want a do-over. I’m incapable of believing in anything so spiritual or metaphysical though so I don’t even get that fiction as solace.
I envy white people here, at least the ones with semi-healthy families (unlike my poor, traumatized partner). For all that there's something so fucked up and fundamentally wrong with many of those white folks, they seem happier. They have their own traumas to be sure, but they don’t have the trauma that comes from being nonwhite in this KKK society and right now, looking at how that racial trauma has destroyed my life, I envy them for not having been brutalized that way.
you have a very beautiful way of writing and explaining your hurt. I am so deeply sorry for your pain. sending you love and solidarity
Read a pro-NATO article written by a white guy based in Singapore’s ISEAS-Yusof Ishak Institute.
A classic angmoh/mat saleh (
) momentAnd again we face the consequences of Sukarno not carpet bombing Singapore.
I feel like a lot of online queer spaces are absolutely overrun with white libs who don't think that they have the capacity to be racist, despite... constantly being very ignorant and offensive. Really, really weird bubbles. Has anyone else experienced this?? 😭
Somehow, they also end up being shocking degrees of discriminatory within the LGBTQ+ community. Transphobia, enbyphobia, and bi/panphobia are shockingly common in mainstream LGBTQ+ spaces, meaning I'm not talking about those obscure "LGBDroptheT" type forums with a very small base of users.
For sure. I'm remembering all the tweets that used to come up during June that were like "happy pride month to everyone EXCEPT FOR (LGBTQ+ identity that the poster personally hates)" ??????
That's all marginalized groups that aren't based on race, unfortunately
Edit: actually not even the ones based on race are immune from thinking they're above any form of bigotry
I messed up my med intake and now I'm sick and angry why am I like this 😭
Today i survived on 2 hours of sleep
but i also ate chinese food which was very good
Today i survived on 2 hours of sleep
Oof
but i also ate chinese food which was very good
Nice... which type?
Show
Got accused of "speaking ynese" and I feel hip and relevant again
Hope everyone is doing ok
