I'm meeting a very cute guy tomorrow who so far seems like a liberal and anti-trump but generally not very concerned with politics. Should I try to hint at my anti-capitalist worldview over time and try to slowly shift his views? Should I try to immediately talk about it very openly and see how he reacts to it? Or will that scare him off? But does it matter if he gets scared off? Should I only be looking for people who already share my views? Or would that be narrowing my options too much? Basically, how much should I rant about capitalism on this date tomorrow?

  • kristina [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    idk i just ignore all the taboos and talk about them on the first date. if they cant handle what i feel like talking about, why would they feel like it while we were dating? the best relationships imo are the ones where you feel like you dont need to filter yourself around your partner

    • aworm [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      I do generally agree with this, but I started my last relationship way more liberal than I am now and he was able to slowly radicalize me over time by bringing up controversial topics later on and in more digestible ways. So maybe I should aim to do that for others?

      • kristina [she/her]
        ·
        4 years ago

        if you think its worth it. i personally think trying to change people from the get-go is a fools errand. never worked for me. for me, it also just feels better to accept my partner as-is rather than thinking i need to fix or change them

        • aworm [she/her]
          ·
          4 years ago

          You're probably right about trying to accept them as-is. I think I am just afraid of not being accepted as-is for my beliefs, in which case it would be better to get that out of the way first, as you said before. Thank you for your insights

          • kristina [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            no prob. id also say think of it as a thought experiment. would you be ok with marrying and staying with someone for the rest of your life if they were a lib? what if they are very stubbornly a lib and refuse to budge? if those arent dealbreakers you should be fine

            • aworm [she/her]
              ·
              4 years ago

              Yeah if they were the sort of lib that really believed in that ideology and refused to budge I wouldn't really be into it, it's just hard to read if someone is that kind of lib or the kind of lib that hasn't thought much about politics yet and would be receptive to radicalization

              • Rev [none/use name]
                ·
                4 years ago

                If he's cute just go out, do something fun and just see how well you vibe. Your body will know. As will your mind cause it'll feel like an exciting adventure. Just don't bite your tongue. You don't need to go in with the aim to proselytise, nobody likes that but whenever you're about to say something you feel might come off controversial - just go for it. At the end of the day you wouldn't want to be walking on eggshells around a partner nor would you want them to have to as well. Just be the fun raw unfiltered you, authenticity is always insanely attractive and if you don't mesh then he's just not your type. Anyway don't overthink it, it's not like you're marrying, could end up just being a short fling or a one night stand and those are valuable and legit as well.