I'm meeting a very cute guy tomorrow who so far seems like a liberal and anti-trump but generally not very concerned with politics. Should I try to hint at my anti-capitalist worldview over time and try to slowly shift his views? Should I try to immediately talk about it very openly and see how he reacts to it? Or will that scare him off? But does it matter if he gets scared off? Should I only be looking for people who already share my views? Or would that be narrowing my options too much? Basically, how much should I rant about capitalism on this date tomorrow?
A lot of people are libs because they haven't had to think about politics all that much, and the Overton Window has restricted what they think they are allowed to actually believe. With people like that, they are generally pretty receptive to subtle radicalization.
I'm somewhat getting the vibe that he's that kind of lib but it's hard to tell. I was talking about how a shorter work week would be great but the people in power would never make those changes, and he said it's good to be hopeful because more people are voting. And then I said that it's hard to feel optimistic about voting when those same people control what we vote for, and he said I have a good point. So perhaps a good sign
i only date hardcore leftists cause ive been raped by 1 liberal and 1 conservative, nothing bad with leftists yet. i even had one fash adjacent guy lie about his politics to get with me, he basically impersonated a liberal. the relationship tends to be way more evenhanded too with socialists, not just me doing everything.
yeah im not saying 'leftists' are immune to it, i just think the incidence is lower.
unfun fact: both were white south africans so now i side eye every white guy from there
yeaaah it might be something i should work on but on the other hand...
Simply having shared morals is enough.
My partner is a good, kind person, and was just a regular lib who believed regular lib things about how we all fit into a fundamentally fair world. They radicalized super fast at university when completing their thesis - and all I did was suggest they ask themselves a few of the "forbidden questions" that libs are trained to ignore about the nature of exploitation and poverty.
I feel slightly bad about it - they spent days looking at the data gathered for their thesis - and eventually realized, to paraphrase, "wow it's all rigged, bootstraps don't exist, and the poor are basically poisoned because it's profitable." Legit - shared morals plus the addition of the forbidden lens of marxism is what radicalizes everyone here. You just need to find a good person.
"If we keep putting all of our hopes and faith that a president will solve our problems for us, and they don't, who's to blame?"
"The bad cops get arrested sometimes, but cops keep killing anyway. Why does this keep happening?"
"Why are there so many homeless people? Why don't homeless shelters work?"
"Why are there so many immigrants?"
"Why does the economy keep crashing, didn't we already have a recession only 10 years ago? And 10 years before that? And 10 years before that?"
"America has the most prisoners in the world?"
"Is it wrong to bomb other countries?"
"Why do these billionaires only come from rich families?"
These are just examples that I just thought of, basically anything that questions systemic and structural oppression and capitalism.
Cuz if you think your economy is going bad, you can't imagine how bad is outside of the imperial center, basically high unemployment. Not to mention not being bombed by NATO or living in the aftermath of those bombings.
Also, even 7 US$ an hour is a lot if you manage to somehow send part of it back to your family in your country where they can buy a lot of food.
(accidentally deleted when i meant to edit lol. the buttons are so close and it doesn't ask to confirm? rip)
agreed. it's so much more important that your core morals align. politics can evolve quickly with a bit of information. when my partner and i had recently met, and, for example, the topic of homelessness came up, and it made both of us seethe at how those in power fail them, and grit teeth at how cruel everyday people can be towards the less fortunate? things like that told us both a hell of a lot more about each other than any political label we could trot out
so i guess id say: feel out what makes them indignant. and how. it's what's worked for me
Broke: Settling for a lib
Woke: Waiting for a comrade
Bespoke: Cucking a chud
Thanks for your reply, that does make sense. I'm only doing online dating on apps right now since I am socially awkward and org meetings of any kind have never lead to any friendships let alone any dates unfortunately. Having similar ideology to the person I date is pretty important to me, but tinder has been my best bet for getting dates and it's mostly libs on there
My opinion; let feelings come first and politics come later.
Personally, I have been in a relationship since 11th grade. 7 years strong. I love her more than life itself.
I was a lib when we met, she was entirely apolitical as most 17 year olds are.
I am still working on explaining my politics, bit by bit, every day. And she is receptive. Because I don't go all in at once.
They will be receptive eventually, just find what your relationship is first 😃
I married my wife back when I was a lib. I’ve since become a communist while she (a South Korean) is a Bernard supporter whose long life of anti-communist brainwashing sometimes results in pretty bad takes (her dad is also an abusive small business owner and landlord who is himself a victim of intense childhood poverty).
Just the other day though she said the George Floyd protests would have gotten a lot further if there had been professionals to lead them. I told her that she had just summarized Marxism-Leninism in one sentence, and she was like, oh, whatever. She also recently told me that housing is a human right. We moved back to America a few years ago (still back when I was a lib) and she really hates so much of what this country is. She’s an RN and says her patients are so much more psychologically fucked up than back in SK. The anxiety here is completely out of control, and South Koreans themselves are not exactly known for being the calmest people on Earth.
Point being: all good people will become socialists sooner or later, so long as someone is there to help guide them to that point. This guy you describe sounds receptive to me.
Its only possible to exclusively date leftists if you live in a city with a decent amount of leftists.
If you live in Lib central, like me, you can't do that.
Another detail to this is that when we were texting he mentioned that he really likes marvel movies and I didn't say anything, but I was thinking about how I really dislike them because they are used as propaganda for the us military and have even explicitly partnered with the military, so if he brings up marvel movies in person I'll have to say I don't like them and explain why, but that's opening a whole can of worms about hating the military and is that really something to get into on a first date? But also I can't fuck with someone who supports the military so... do I talk about it anyway? I am confusion
idk i just ignore all the taboos and talk about them on the first date. if they cant handle what i feel like talking about, why would they feel like it while we were dating? the best relationships imo are the ones where you feel like you dont need to filter yourself around your partner
I do generally agree with this, but I started my last relationship way more liberal than I am now and he was able to slowly radicalize me over time by bringing up controversial topics later on and in more digestible ways. So maybe I should aim to do that for others?
if you think its worth it. i personally think trying to change people from the get-go is a fools errand. never worked for me. for me, it also just feels better to accept my partner as-is rather than thinking i need to fix or change them
You're probably right about trying to accept them as-is. I think I am just afraid of not being accepted as-is for my beliefs, in which case it would be better to get that out of the way first, as you said before. Thank you for your insights
no prob. id also say think of it as a thought experiment. would you be ok with marrying and staying with someone for the rest of your life if they were a lib? what if they are very stubbornly a lib and refuse to budge? if those arent dealbreakers you should be fine
Yeah if they were the sort of lib that really believed in that ideology and refused to budge I wouldn't really be into it, it's just hard to read if someone is that kind of lib or the kind of lib that hasn't thought much about politics yet and would be receptive to radicalization
If he's cute just go out, do something fun and just see how well you vibe. Your body will know. As will your mind cause it'll feel like an exciting adventure. Just don't bite your tongue. You don't need to go in with the aim to proselytise, nobody likes that but whenever you're about to say something you feel might come off controversial - just go for it. At the end of the day you wouldn't want to be walking on eggshells around a partner nor would you want them to have to as well. Just be the fun raw unfiltered you, authenticity is always insanely attractive and if you don't mesh then he's just not your type. Anyway don't overthink it, it's not like you're marrying, could end up just being a short fling or a one night stand and those are valuable and legit as well.
Generally most people are unaware of the close ties between the military and cinema. It’d probably be the best bet to say you don’t like marvel movies cause they are boring/formulaic/bad movies and save the more controversial shit for later when it won’t scare people off.
You're right, he probably isn't aware of it. But if he is aware and it is somehow a plus for him, if the militaristic aspects are why he likes it, I would definitely want to know and not talk to him further. But maybe this is like a third date topic lmao
However, if you convert a lib, you can make that a reality
Not that you're wrong, just that it's possible either way
The worst date I have ever been on was with a comrade. She didn't do anything wrong...and I don't think I really did either...but the whole thing was just an awkward attempt to get a conversation flowing, and failing spectacularly.
I'm not saying politics shouldn't matter in a relationship (I'm on this site for chrissakes), but all the right political views in the world are just no substitute for chemistry.
Be yourself, be unapologetic for your political views...see if you click.
Former lib and my partner full on radicalized me. There's hope.
Are you looking for something long-term or just some fun? If it's the latter, then "hide your power level" a bit. For a long-term relationship, shared values are important. You can't go in assuming that you're going to change someone's mind, that's destined to fail.
Basically, how much should I rant about capitalism on this date tomorrow?
You can get away with a lot if you replace critiques of Capitalism as attacks on "the system". Use more vague language, as people can usually relate more to that.
Up to you, isn't it? If you find yourself grinding your teeth every time he brings up liking Marvel then that won't be fun for you OR him. May as well rip the bandaid off. If you're cool with someone being vaguely apolitical but with all the right morals, then go for it. You can rec him all the lib-to-left books (Naomi Klein and stuff I mean) later lol
