I'm meeting a very cute guy tomorrow who so far seems like a liberal and anti-trump but generally not very concerned with politics. Should I try to hint at my anti-capitalist worldview over time and try to slowly shift his views? Should I try to immediately talk about it very openly and see how he reacts to it? Or will that scare him off? But does it matter if he gets scared off? Should I only be looking for people who already share my views? Or would that be narrowing my options too much? Basically, how much should I rant about capitalism on this date tomorrow?
Another detail to this is that when we were texting he mentioned that he really likes marvel movies and I didn't say anything, but I was thinking about how I really dislike them because they are used as propaganda for the us military and have even explicitly partnered with the military, so if he brings up marvel movies in person I'll have to say I don't like them and explain why, but that's opening a whole can of worms about hating the military and is that really something to get into on a first date? But also I can't fuck with someone who supports the military so... do I talk about it anyway? I am confusion
idk i just ignore all the taboos and talk about them on the first date. if they cant handle what i feel like talking about, why would they feel like it while we were dating? the best relationships imo are the ones where you feel like you dont need to filter yourself around your partner
I do generally agree with this, but I started my last relationship way more liberal than I am now and he was able to slowly radicalize me over time by bringing up controversial topics later on and in more digestible ways. So maybe I should aim to do that for others?
if you think its worth it. i personally think trying to change people from the get-go is a fools errand. never worked for me. for me, it also just feels better to accept my partner as-is rather than thinking i need to fix or change them
You're probably right about trying to accept them as-is. I think I am just afraid of not being accepted as-is for my beliefs, in which case it would be better to get that out of the way first, as you said before. Thank you for your insights
no prob. id also say think of it as a thought experiment. would you be ok with marrying and staying with someone for the rest of your life if they were a lib? what if they are very stubbornly a lib and refuse to budge? if those arent dealbreakers you should be fine
Yeah if they were the sort of lib that really believed in that ideology and refused to budge I wouldn't really be into it, it's just hard to read if someone is that kind of lib or the kind of lib that hasn't thought much about politics yet and would be receptive to radicalization
If he's cute just go out, do something fun and just see how well you vibe. Your body will know. As will your mind cause it'll feel like an exciting adventure. Just don't bite your tongue. You don't need to go in with the aim to proselytise, nobody likes that but whenever you're about to say something you feel might come off controversial - just go for it. At the end of the day you wouldn't want to be walking on eggshells around a partner nor would you want them to have to as well. Just be the fun raw unfiltered you, authenticity is always insanely attractive and if you don't mesh then he's just not your type. Anyway don't overthink it, it's not like you're marrying, could end up just being a short fling or a one night stand and those are valuable and legit as well.
Generally most people are unaware of the close ties between the military and cinema. It’d probably be the best bet to say you don’t like marvel movies cause they are boring/formulaic/bad movies and save the more controversial shit for later when it won’t scare people off.
You're right, he probably isn't aware of it. But if he is aware and it is somehow a plus for him, if the militaristic aspects are why he likes it, I would definitely want to know and not talk to him further. But maybe this is like a third date topic lmao