Is there any other "sport" so perfectly encapsulating everything shitty about capitalism? It's got everything:
- Extremely large amounts of nature converted to courses made out of non-indigenous plants that waste water and labor keeping the grass at a constant height
- Course are owned by tax-dodging private social clubs with hefty membership costs
- New members have to be approved by the existing membership, so undesirable (read: non-WASP) members of the community can be rejected even if they can meet the economic costs
- Special discount rates offered for family of current members, ensuring generational wealth and privilege is maintained
- Most of the workforce is made up of undocumented laborers from Central America who do manual labor in exchange for shitty wages
- Middle school-age children are employed as off-the-books pack animals so the players don't accidentally do any amount of manual labor
- Players also have the option of driving little cars (with no safety mechanisms at all) so they don't accidentally get exercise
- A whole match takes four fucking hours to complete, requiring substantial free time on top of the sunk costs in fees and equipment
Climate destruction, resource waste, tax-dodges, racism, nepotism, illegal and child labor, and extremely high artificial costs for a leisure activity: I can't think of a single more appropriate avatar for capitalism. Well, maybe if there were slaves.
The only good golf is crazy golf.
No wasteful and expensive lawn upkeep or water required.
Can be free or cost for whoever wants to play.
Colourful and creative with theming and design.
Sport as interactive art rather than competition.
Completely inclusive for all ages, backgrounds etc.
Small scale means they can be fit in anywhere space would otherwise be wasted.
Usually made by a niche of small companies and local tradespeople.
Anti-elitist. You can be the best person in the world at hitting a brightly coloured ball through a pirate's mouth so it pops out of his behind, but you can't be smug and serious about it.