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    • bewts [he/him,comrade/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      I'd like to think that when the profit motive is removed from our social interactions after abolishing capitalism that it will be more acceptable to be the quiet guy in the corner. That's just a hope though wish I had a better answer for you.

    • sappho [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Okay I heavily relate to this. This was my problem when I was younger. I'm allistic (I think) so maybe this advice won't apply to you. But the issue for me was that my filter was overactive. My mind went blank in social situations because deep down I was terrified of saying the wrong thing and being rejected, so my brain just blocked me from saying anything at all. The truth is that people having conversations are not really saying things that are particularly clever or enlightening, and you can say those things too.

      What I did - which is probably not the path for everyone - is exposure therapy. If you can do something without feeling afraid of it, the fear association in your brain weakens. I spent a lot of time getting drunk enough to kill my anxiety and then talking to everyone at parties. Eventually went to one where I didn't know anyone but the host, that shit was scary. After a while I realized there's nothing wrong with me and I'm actually a great conversationalist, as long as I get rid of the filter.

      Also I read How to Win Friends and Influence People at some point before this and it was helpful. Concrete advice on how to make people feel at ease.

      • RNAi [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Also, to me it depends on the people who ard there in the party. Like bring me some comrades or at least some hippies and I would feel proud of my social skills, put me in a fucking party in my hometown and I will became a barnacle, at best following my social-skilled friends around and hating the experience. Unless I drink enough alcohol then I start to enjoy being surrounded of people I kinda hate.