I'm elderly by Chapo.chat standards (38) and I've been getting hit with some madeleines lately. Thinking back to the major life changes that happened 10-12 years ago and I'm struggling to grok how close that is and simultaneously how remote. After dissociating for most of the Bush era I had a fairly normal decade (interspersed with personal "decades when nothing happens/weeks when decades happen" time dilation moment) and post-Trump I've starting to feel aging as the elimination of possibility.
Kids are extremely unlikely now (they never seemed like a good idea but when you're 29 you can envision building a decent enough future to send a kid to college). I'm never going to ride the rails around Europe. Odds are I'll never take a vacation outside of the US - if I ever take a vacation again at all. I can feel the window closing - and my dreams narrow with it.
(Mostly I'm just amazed my friends and I drank like we used to (really up until 4-5 years ago). Up to ~31 I could close down a bar, hang out for two hours afterward and then wake up at 7:30 for work. I had one margarita to-go in the last month and felt sick afterward. )
Hey buddy I'm just starting to experience those physical changes you mention at the bottom. I hope you can still experience some dreams and happiness, I've known some awesome 45+ year olds that have solo fostered kids, even for a couple years, can really help those kiddos and give you some contentment. Love to you comrade!
I'm not saying it as an inherently negative or depressing thing - it can be, in certain ways, but in others its simply an accommodation.
At 19 I was studying photography, my theoretical path was grad school, teaching, gallery shows. (Except I was studying at a state school with no juice in the art world so... not really.) At 38, I'm saving up for my first good camera in a while - my path is more sociology than gallery. I want to document the disappearing human landscape.
I never had an active desire for children - it's more a recognition that even if things lined up for the right forever relationship, socioeconomic status and age make them less plausible.
I don't have a great response, but this resonates with me (a few years younger). I kind of coasted through the Obama years, and it feels like I'm aging 4x as fast under Trump. Similar thoughts on traveling and children. I hope you figure things out.
I'm elderly by Chapo.chat standards (38) and I've been getting hit with some madeleines lately. Thinking back to the major life changes that happened 10-12 years ago and I'm struggling to grok how close that is and simultaneously how remote. After dissociating for most of the Bush era I had a fairly normal decade (interspersed with personal "decades when nothing happens/weeks when decades happen" time dilation moment) and post-Trump I've starting to feel aging as the elimination of possibility.
Kids are extremely unlikely now (they never seemed like a good idea but when you're 29 you can envision building a decent enough future to send a kid to college). I'm never going to ride the rails around Europe. Odds are I'll never take a vacation outside of the US - if I ever take a vacation again at all. I can feel the window closing - and my dreams narrow with it.
(Mostly I'm just amazed my friends and I drank like we used to (really up until 4-5 years ago). Up to ~31 I could close down a bar, hang out for two hours afterward and then wake up at 7:30 for work. I had one margarita to-go in the last month and felt sick afterward. )
deleted by creator
parkour is dumb anyway
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
Hey buddy I'm just starting to experience those physical changes you mention at the bottom. I hope you can still experience some dreams and happiness, I've known some awesome 45+ year olds that have solo fostered kids, even for a couple years, can really help those kiddos and give you some contentment. Love to you comrade!
deleted by creator
I'm not saying it as an inherently negative or depressing thing - it can be, in certain ways, but in others its simply an accommodation.
At 19 I was studying photography, my theoretical path was grad school, teaching, gallery shows. (Except I was studying at a state school with no juice in the art world so... not really.) At 38, I'm saving up for my first good camera in a while - my path is more sociology than gallery. I want to document the disappearing human landscape.
I never had an active desire for children - it's more a recognition that even if things lined up for the right forever relationship, socioeconomic status and age make them less plausible.
I don't have a great response, but this resonates with me (a few years younger). I kind of coasted through the Obama years, and it feels like I'm aging 4x as fast under Trump. Similar thoughts on traveling and children. I hope you figure things out.