I'm elderly by Chapo.chat standards (38) and I've been getting hit with some madeleines lately. Thinking back to the major life changes that happened 10-12 years ago and I'm struggling to grok how close that is and simultaneously how remote. After dissociating for most of the Bush era I had a fairly normal decade (interspersed with personal "decades when nothing happens/weeks when decades happen" time dilation moment) and post-Trump I've starting to feel aging as the elimination of possibility.
Kids are extremely unlikely now (they never seemed like a good idea but when you're 29 you can envision building a decent enough future to send a kid to college). I'm never going to ride the rails around Europe. Odds are I'll never take a vacation outside of the US - if I ever take a vacation again at all. I can feel the window closing - and my dreams narrow with it.
(Mostly I'm just amazed my friends and I drank like we used to (really up until 4-5 years ago). Up to ~31 I could close down a bar, hang out for two hours afterward and then wake up at 7:30 for work. I had one margarita to-go in the last month and felt sick afterward. )
I'm not saying it as an inherently negative or depressing thing - it can be, in certain ways, but in others its simply an accommodation.
At 19 I was studying photography, my theoretical path was grad school, teaching, gallery shows. (Except I was studying at a state school with no juice in the art world so... not really.) At 38, I'm saving up for my first good camera in a while - my path is more sociology than gallery. I want to document the disappearing human landscape.
I never had an active desire for children - it's more a recognition that even if things lined up for the right forever relationship, socioeconomic status and age make them less plausible.
Hey buddy I'm just starting to experience those physical changes you mention at the bottom. I hope you can still experience some dreams and happiness, I've known some awesome 45+ year olds that have solo fostered kids, even for a couple years, can really help those kiddos and give you some contentment. Love to you comrade!
I don't have a great response, but this resonates with me (a few years younger). I kind of coasted through the Obama years, and it feels like I'm aging 4x as fast under Trump. Similar thoughts on traveling and children. I hope you figure things out.
I'm elderly by Chapo.chat standards (38) and I've been getting hit with some madeleines lately. Thinking back to the major life changes that happened 10-12 years ago and I'm struggling to grok how close that is and simultaneously how remote. After dissociating for most of the Bush era I had a fairly normal decade (interspersed with personal "decades when nothing happens/weeks when decades happen" time dilation moment) and post-Trump I've starting to feel aging as the elimination of possibility.
Kids are extremely unlikely now (they never seemed like a good idea but when you're 29 you can envision building a decent enough future to send a kid to college). I'm never going to ride the rails around Europe. Odds are I'll never take a vacation outside of the US - if I ever take a vacation again at all. I can feel the window closing - and my dreams narrow with it.
(Mostly I'm just amazed my friends and I drank like we used to (really up until 4-5 years ago). Up to ~31 I could close down a bar, hang out for two hours afterward and then wake up at 7:30 for work. I had one margarita to-go in the last month and felt sick afterward. )
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parkour is dumb anyway
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I'm not saying it as an inherently negative or depressing thing - it can be, in certain ways, but in others its simply an accommodation.
At 19 I was studying photography, my theoretical path was grad school, teaching, gallery shows. (Except I was studying at a state school with no juice in the art world so... not really.) At 38, I'm saving up for my first good camera in a while - my path is more sociology than gallery. I want to document the disappearing human landscape.
I never had an active desire for children - it's more a recognition that even if things lined up for the right forever relationship, socioeconomic status and age make them less plausible.
Hey buddy I'm just starting to experience those physical changes you mention at the bottom. I hope you can still experience some dreams and happiness, I've known some awesome 45+ year olds that have solo fostered kids, even for a couple years, can really help those kiddos and give you some contentment. Love to you comrade!
I don't have a great response, but this resonates with me (a few years younger). I kind of coasted through the Obama years, and it feels like I'm aging 4x as fast under Trump. Similar thoughts on traveling and children. I hope you figure things out.