Christmas was usually something that I really liked because it was a warm comforting light in the hollow darkness of winter. This Christmas is different for a lot of reasons.
Obviously because of the pandemic I can't visit my family or friends. But even without that I'd still feel shitty because I have to work until 2 am tonight. And my partner works until 12 so when they get home I'll still be working. And we both have to work tomorrow so it's not like we could have fun or do much of anything because we have to get up and go to work tomorrow.
And it's so shitty outside. Not even snowy like it used to be on Christmas. Just muddy and wet and rainy because the Earth is being boiled for profit. The sun sets at like 3 pm right when I'm waking up and it doesn't rise again until like 7 am, after I've gone to bed. I haven't been outside during daylight in weeks.
People I know are like "omg 2020 is almost over I can't wait for this awful year to be done" as if 2021 isn't going to be worse. And 2022 will be worse than 2021 and so on. It's just gonna keep getting worse.
The terrorist attack in Nashville today is a portent of exponentially worse things to come.
The unusually destructive weather events this year are going to continue to happen, more frequent and more destructive as time goes on.
The pandemic is going to continue raging on and killing millions of mostly poor people. It's already birthed new strains that are more infectious and more deadly.
I don't understand how to be happy anymore. Even when I'm momentarily happy it's overshadowed by absolute dread.
Merry Christmas comrades
Have you tried a happy light? Not remotely suggesting it will fix all your problems but I've gone a while without seeing sunlight too and it has had a noticable impact on my mood.
Honestly hope things get better for you comrade.
This is a good idea. Also think vitamin D, and moving a bit. Go for a walk, run, do some squats, idk. Hold your partner tight. Message me if you need anything.
I go for night walks when I've got the energy. Wish it could be during the day because it's cold as shit at night but it's good enough I guess. I definitely gotta start hitting that vitamin d tho.
Shit I was actually gonna get one this fall but then I got fired so I had to save up. Once I have some money I'll probably get one.
I think striving for happiness as a constant is fruitless, especially this year. Cherish the joy you feel when listening to a new album, returning to a beloved movie or idea or person, and accept that that's enough.
I just sat on the stairs for an hour and a half and stared at the landing. I feel numb.
Uhhh.......ok?
Not sure why you're replying to my sadpost with this weirdly passive aggressive tangent about cheap liquor..
There was a struggle session post today about beer vs vodka. I'm guessing he posted it in the wrong spot by accident.
