Well got turned down by my friend (see my post last week). Which means the entire future I had in mind collapsed. I have at least 30 years in front of me which will consist of work, gaming and reading, an hour of discord and then giong to sleep repeat ad infinitum. According to a former therapist I'm propably on the verge of the autism spectrum. Like I can function in my job as a teacher, but I really only know how to explain stuff or discuss a topic. Making new contacts is super difficult for me since I don't get small talk and am bad at keeping things like posture and body language in mind. I'm also terrible in sports (and hate them) and have no cool leftist orgs around where I live. I'm in an online biweekly theory group which is cool though. This has become a drunken rant (thanks for the whiskey mom). But I just don't see a future anymore that isn't more of the same.