Criticisms of "tone policing" make sense in real debates about real matters because it's a deflection from an actual argument to zone in on tone over the more substantive matters of the argument. Criticisms of "tone policing" in the context of the administrators of a community space because of how they are addressing a community issue isn't even half as relevant, personally.

Like if one of your friends was a condescending asshole about your preferences every time y'all tried to make plans, and you confronted them about it, getting told you're "tone policing" probably wouldn't fly, would it?

I think the relationship between admins of this site and users is more the latter than the former, or at least it should be, I think, based on the goals of this site. I wasn't bothered by the posts, and I don't really care about the name (don't love hexbear though), but I can see why people would be turned off by the more condescending posts and reactions to the users who do have criticisms.